The YAMster's left her hutch again - gone through to Edinburgh. There are folk who are at various stages of indifferent health, not least of them being "the Maestro". It has struck one how
much attached the spirit becomes to the flesh. Not that it wasn't previously
understood, on an intellectual level. However, when faced with a physical
example, it can be very hard not to say, "Aha! Detach! Detach!"
Just
because, for oneself, attachment to the physical aspects of existence has been
much reduced, letting the Vedantic understanding supplant the old habit of
living, it also has to be acknowledged that majority folk have yet to consider
the possibility of death simply being another stage in 'life'. This is what
Vedanta teaches; the body is like a suit of clothing, to be dispensed with once
used. If parts can be recycled, all to the good for the bodies which remain and
are in need of those parts; for the essence of personality which inhabited that
body though, it is time to get on with the next stage of experience and growth.
Taking
it one step further, Advaita Vedanta teaches that the departing spirit returns to source and is part of the ONE
again. It may have some karma balance still to be spent, therefore another
'suit of flesh' is formed and the spirit enters it. Thus the cycle of
reincarnation is set.
Advaita
allows for no distinction between our perception
of existence and the source of that
existence (called variously as Brahman, OM, God, etc). Its teachings, read
well, and its examples and exercises applied, physically as well as
intellectually, bring with indubitable logic the dedicated adherents to the
conclusion that All IS One, and that One is the AMness within.
It
is not an easy thing to allow, though. The antaH-karana
(mind-intellect-ego-"memory") is itself an attachment and it takes a
great deal of effort to move beyond it. The ego-self becomes very, very
dominant and when we use the first person pronoun it is almost entirely in
reference to the contained and flesh-packaged, individualised self - the
jivaatman. Occasionally, we may stop and ponder, 'who am "I"
really?'... All too briefly though, for then 'life' pushes in again and distracts us from
the question. However, there are a few who stick with it and begin to research
it more fully through the various techniques available. It can be through
explorations in artistic endeavour, through music, through adventure, all the way up to deep, philosophical analysis… endless
methods offer the possibility of understanding who is this "I". The
majority, though, only serve to strengthen lower-self, ego-identity.
That
ego-self attaches to other ego-selves as well as to the world of objects.
Somewhere inside there is the idea that to possess things and relationships
will keep us safe. Yet the more we are attached, the greater the fear of their
loss which arises, rather than an increase in feelings of safety.
This
is particularly obvious when it comes to the loss of members of family or pets. The nature and variety of grief is a wide spectrum according to the attached-ness of those left behind. The Vedantin is not untouched by grief, but rather does not permit it to become
debilitating in the way it can be for others. Acknowledging the loss is very
much there and the absence is surely felt. However, there is also a sense of
relief for that spirit that it has chosen to move on and a prayer that it will
find an improved existence hereafter.
It can present problems; some, in grief, have a sense that everyone else ought to be feeling as dramatic and damaged as they are. The selfish ego at work even at this time. Neither, though, ought the one who is less affected point at the one in pain and tell them to 'pull themselves together'. Everyone grieves differently and this must be respected.
Make no mistake, grieving takes place even where loss has not yet happened. Fear of the possibility of loss causes a grief, an angst almost overwhelming for some. This has been seen in Mac1 this week, as The Maestro struggles on intensive care. It has been seen in the father, who is not in good shape himself. It has been seen to a lesser degree in Mac2, who is much closer to events, being a co-carer along with Mac1 and hubby at the hospital. It has been seen in Neighbour M, who is almost family but who is also undergoing health issues... To this the YAMster has come, with a very different view on matters health.
How
to sit with those who have the pain of breaking attachment upon them when there
is so different an understanding? Just that. Simply sit. There is no need to
preach or look despairingly upon those who lack this understanding. The one
thing which crosses all 'understandings' is Love (with the capital 'ell').
Simply 'being there' (even from a distance) is sometimes all that is required
to bring solace. If the query comes as to how
one can be so calm in such a time of stress, the easy and honest answer is,
"I sit in Love and in Love there is no loss."
It
is within the mantel of Love that we can rest and drop our burden. In the time
of stress, we need not search out the big answers for what is that Love. All
that is required is to feel it and allow others a share in it.
Open arms for the healing hug. A light touch where a hug may seem too much. A deeply listening ear. Meals cooked from the heart..... When others feel that Love has somehow deserted them, being as much a representation of that Love as possible is one of the best of ways to serve.
As this post gets typed on Friday evening for scheduling, another procedure is being undertaken upon the body of The Maestro. It is touch and go. There may be an addendum. There may not.
Your Love would be welcomed.
add; Amy still present but has deteriorated since writing. ... it is not without some irony that I found the scheduling had gone awry and this is posting later than usual...
