One of
the things that has caused me stress in recent years is the loss of short-term
memory power. Fine, that's old news.
Trouble
is it keeps getting in the way of normal life.
...okay, normal for me is not necessarily normal for you, but I think we
can agree that there are certain patterns to life for everyone that are
standard, even allowing for small variations within said patterns? Whether I tie my bow to the left and you tie
yours to the right doesn't interfere with the concept of there having been a
bow tied, correct? So dressing oneself
is a pattern that is set in place very early in life and is generally not
something that can be re-programmed.
Ahh, but
what about the wearing of sockses? One afflicted with menosoup is inclined to
find the programming affected by gremlins and thus becoming a subject of mirth
when on public transport. Now whilst it
may these days be something of a fashion statement for trendy young (…+ish)
ladies to wear their running shoes into the office, there to peel off the socks
they wore over the pantyhose in order to don the sleek pumps, it is apparently
a joke for one with greying hair to do the same. It takes the arrival at the place of work and
the doffing of the outer socks to discover that
both socks are on the one foot to
understand that joke.
This was
one of the very early symptoms of menosoup.
The sense of self-mirth had not yet settled in as a means of coping with
the decline in costume coordination.
Having sat at the desk fuming for a good day and a half, it was
determined that this method of foot preservation would no longer be
applied. Bare legs only.
That
decision has been held until this day.
Skirts also became a thing of museum status within about - oh - two
weeks of the socks incident.
You see,
Dear Reader, only ever once do you go out in public with your favourite Liberty
print summer skirt turned inside out.
Firstly, it is an insult to the fabric.
Secondly, you look like a loon.
It is
hard to tell which was the more distressing; the finding out on arriving home
from a ten hour day - or the fact that NOBODY thought to mention it during
those ten hours. This was in the time when fashion had taken a notion for putting
the seams on the outside of garments.
But come on people. Puuh-lleease.
I
couldn't even bear to remember that day for a long, long time. Then the sense of humour cut in. Now it is not simply a case of looking like a
loon; to the quiet observer of the insane giggling it appears that, in fact,
lunacy reigns. Such behaviour is best
kept under the wraps of one's own room if at all possible. Like the other day.
Oh yes,
I'm still at it.
Sitting
in class that evening I couldn't quite understand why I felt so 'bundled-up'
. The sari had tied fine and there were
no untucked lengths. The shawls were
arranged in the usual manner, so no problem there. When I got back to the room and glanced in
the mirror (unavoidable due to placement) it appeared that I had accrued an
extra two or three kilos. Stripping off
the sari and underskirt, the cause revealed itself. I had not removed the salwar (baggy pants)
that I had worn during the afternoon, due to being unable to find my favourite
leggings.
Well,
okay, this was not really problem. A bit
like a Victorian lady and her pantaloons I suppose. But it was the removal of the salwar that
brought on the astoundment, followed by the cackling.
There
were the leggings I had been looking for earlier.
How, oh
how, you are asking, could I not have felt these on my legs? Still asking myself the same thing; put it
down to a serious attack of menopolysocksication.
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