MenoSundays; Life Lived Lovingly

The YAMster's left her hutch again - gone through to Edinburgh. There are folk who are at various stages of  indifferent health, not least of them being "the Maestro". It has struck one how much attached the spirit becomes to the flesh. Not that it wasn't previously understood, on an intellectual level. However, when faced with a physical example, it can be very hard not to say, "Aha! Detach! Detach!"

Just because, for oneself, attachment to the physical aspects of existence has been much reduced, letting the Vedantic understanding supplant the old habit of living, it also has to be acknowledged that majority folk have yet to consider the possibility of death simply being another stage in 'life'. This is what Vedanta teaches; the body is like a suit of clothing, to be dispensed with once used. If parts can be recycled, all to the good for the bodies which remain and are in need of those parts; for the essence of personality which inhabited that body though, it is time to get on with the next stage of experience and growth.

Taking it one step further, Advaita Vedanta teaches that the departing spirit returns to source and is part of the ONE again. It may have some karma balance still to be spent, therefore another 'suit of flesh' is formed and the spirit enters it. Thus the cycle of reincarnation is set.

Advaita allows for no distinction between our perception of existence and the source of that existence (called variously as Brahman, OM, God, etc). Its teachings, read well, and its examples and exercises applied, physically as well as intellectually, bring with indubitable logic the dedicated adherents to the conclusion that All IS One, and that One is the AMness within.

It is not an easy thing to allow, though. The antaH-karana (mind-intellect-ego-"memory") is itself an attachment and it takes a great deal of effort to move beyond it. The ego-self becomes very, very dominant and when we use the first person pronoun it is almost entirely in reference to the contained and flesh-packaged, individualised self - the jivaatman. Occasionally, we may stop and ponder, 'who am "I" really?'... All too briefly though, for then 'life' pushes in again and distracts us from the question. However, there are a few who stick with it and begin to research it more fully through the various techniques available. It can be through explorations in artistic endeavour, through music, through adventure, all the way up to deep, philosophical analysis… endless methods offer the possibility of understanding who is this "I". The majority, though, only serve to strengthen lower-self, ego-identity.

That ego-self attaches to other ego-selves as well as to the world of objects. Somewhere inside there is the idea that to possess things and relationships will keep us safe. Yet the more we are attached, the greater the fear of their loss which arises, rather than an increase in feelings of safety.

This is particularly obvious when it comes to the loss of members of family or pets. The nature and variety of grief is a wide spectrum according to the attached-ness of those left behind. The Vedantin is not untouched by grief, but rather does not permit it to become debilitating in the way it can be for others. Acknowledging the loss is very much there and the absence is surely felt. However, there is also a sense of relief for that spirit that it has chosen to move on and a prayer that it will find an improved existence hereafter.

It can present problems; some, in grief, have a sense that everyone else ought to be feeling as dramatic and damaged as they are. The selfish ego at work even at this time. Neither, though, ought the one who is less affected point at the one in pain and tell them to 'pull themselves together'. Everyone grieves differently and this must be respected.

Make no mistake, grieving takes place even where loss has not yet happened. Fear of the possibility of loss causes a grief, an angst almost overwhelming for some. This has been seen in Mac1 this week, as The Maestro struggles on intensive care. It has been seen in the father, who is not in good shape himself. It has been seen to a lesser degree in Mac2, who is much closer to events, being a co-carer along with Mac1 and hubby at the hospital. It has been seen in Neighbour M, who is almost family but who is also undergoing health issues... To this the YAMster has come, with a very different view on matters health.

How to sit with those who have the pain of breaking attachment upon them when there is so different an understanding? Just that. Simply sit. There is no need to preach or look despairingly upon those who lack this understanding. The one thing which crosses all 'understandings' is Love (with the capital 'ell'). Simply 'being there' (even from a distance) is sometimes all that is required to bring solace. If the query comes as to how one can be so calm in such a time of stress, the easy and honest answer is, "I sit in Love and in Love there is no loss."

It is within the mantel of Love that we can rest and drop our burden. In the time of stress, we need not search out the big answers for what is that Love. All that is required is to feel it and allow others a share in it.

Image result for come unto meOpen arms for the healing hug. A light touch where a hug may seem too much. A deeply listening ear. Meals cooked from the heart..... When others feel that Love has somehow deserted them, being as much a representation of that Love as possible is one of the best of ways to serve.

As this post gets typed on Friday evening for scheduling, another procedure is being undertaken upon the body of The Maestro. It is touch and go. There may be an addendum. There may not. 

Your Love would be welcomed.


add; Amy still present but has deteriorated since writing. ... it is not without some irony that I found the scheduling had gone awry and this is posting later than usual... 

8 comments:

  1. Sometimes all you need is a hug or an open ear.

    Hoping the Maestro will be okay. Thinking of you and your family. And a big hug from all of us here!

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    1. Hari OM
      Hugs are the bestest... &*>.... Yx

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  2. I am so sorry to hear your Maestro is frail and fading. My love to you.

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  3. Sending love and hugs to you and all your family. I have no doubt your support will be welcomed and deeply felt.
    Gail.

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  4. More love and hugs heading your way from me Yamini. My thoughts will be with you and the Maestro.
    Love, Lynn!!

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  5. Sending you and yours alllllllllllllllll my love and loads of hugs.
    PS: just checked on speck today. Haven't been logging in.
    Love love love ๐Ÿ•‰๐Ÿ•‰๐Ÿ•‰

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  6. It is so very hard, at the end, for many. My parents never came to terms with it. Mom didn't even tell her best friend about her radiation treatments.
    We've dealt with it. We've pregrieved, and have tried to enjoy each day.
    I send you hugs, and love, for sure. That is the nature of hospice volunteering. Hubby loses a Meals on Wheels client weekly, too. Take care. Your faith will keep you strong. xx

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