I received an email.
"What do you prefer to be called?"
This was a polite and heartfelt request, much appreciated. It caused me to realise, firstly, that the Mac History has fallen a bit by the wayside; the last chronological offering was eight months ago... with a sporadic handful since. In some ways, dipping into bits and pieces is easier for this writer, perhaps less boring for a reader.
Secondly, it sent me reeling along Menory Lane. You see, after that next 'divergence', there were not really any bosses or colleagues to relate scary tales about. There were definitely characters, and bit by bit, if it rolls that way, they shall appear here. However, the push towards a career in medicine - and that too of the 'alternative' kind - was very much written in praarabdha (destiny). That can only be said in hindsight, of course.
How is this related to the email received? Well, it turned out that exposure to the study of various complimentary modalities also touched upon different forms of addressing spirit and this is a driving force for the YAMster. More on the studies another time, this is leading up to an exploration of what's in a name.
My parents gave me the name Alison. Just that, nothing more. Not for any reason of meaning, but because my mother and my grandmother were both 'Elison'. The tradition, till the 1950's and 60' at least, was that the first-born be named for the maternal /paternal lineage. However, mother decided that I need not be cursed with what she had all her life... people constantly asking if she meant 'Alison'. There is an irony to this, because no matter what one's name (other than a Biblical standard), there will always be alterations made by others.
Of course, it wasn't long into life before the shortened version got majority use. Ali it was - unless in trouble or formal situations. There was strong identity; always preferred Ali over Alison. In OZ I never used Alison at all. Always introduced myself with Ali. Pet hate? Folk who then assumed they could call me Alison!
Did not really give it that much thought until the time I found myself very coolly responding to a boss who asked after intros whether he might just call me by my full name. "My full name is Ali."
That was the very first time I pondered making that my legal name. Just never got round to it. However, the idea that how I was called held some value beyond physical identification was intriguing. In English-based culture, whilst there are 'pop' meanings for names, we do not really set a lot of store by them. It can be fun to think 'oh it means having sacred nobility', but how often would we seek to become the value or essence of our name? ...unless a bit 'out in the forest'.. you know.. cuckoo, (another name I've been called on occasion!)
During such inner explorations as were opened to me at that time, there was much catharsis. The part of me which had experienced a childhood moment on a hillside, in a moment of dance and again in a moment of devotion, but had somehow lain dormant for quite some years, was finding its way back to the surface.
'Moments' started to return. I realised that I had missed the presence of that inner voice and its physical presentations. This is also when there were serious enquiries into Shamanism, Buddhism, B'Hai etc.
Fast forward ten years. Healing practice had been ticking along nicely; unexpected additional - and extremely rewarding - work in aged care supplemented income. Nothing was particularly bad, neither particularly good. Then came the moment of darkness. Jade saved me in the moment, but it also became clear more was needed. Despite being of use to a few people and a couple of furkids, somewhere along the way the true purpose of life had been forgotten. There was a barren few months as I pondered how to overcome this. It dawned on me that Yeshu had not spoken directly to me for a long time. Then again, I may not have been listening... I called out for that voice.
That was the night I collapsed before Him and begged forgiveness for my forgetfulness. I recalled the surrender in that moment of darkness and allowed the whole of me to melt away once more.
Now, it could be left at saying my name was given to me and leave it at that. This, however, would be failing both its purpose and that of its owner. "Oh that is pretty, what does it mean?" is the question which arises - in the eyes, if not the voice - of all who hear it. What is about to be related is necessary in order to convey there is no such thing as 'just a name'. Do not turn away, neither scoff. Know that here sits one who may have been guilty of the same scepticism herself in the past. The logical mind worked all explanations for why others would make such claims. Experience changes that. Then the logical mind has to find out why.
As I sat empty that night, some nine years past, a calmness came which cannot be conveyed in words. I opened my eyes and there again, after so many years, stood Yeshu... well, the essence of being I know as Him. Forgiveness was granted, then something astounding... He told me to "listen to My new face."
At which point He turned around and another figure appeared. This was only from the waist up and was so shiny and beautiful...and blue. I would like to emphasise here, that till this point in spite of all researches, Hinduism had not been among them and at this stage I had absolutely no idea who or what this was. The language was also completely out of my ken. However, there were three phrases which I came to extract from the speaker's repetition of them. Shravanam, Rama and Yamini.
Then He was gone.
Straight away, before forgetting them, I did what any computer-literate geeky type does with questions. The search engine came back with so many things for shravanam I couldn't make sense of them, so left that alone. Rama, typed in, immediately revealed this to be an avatar (human incarnation) of God...'oh. Yeshu's new face!' Then I had a go at Yamini. Except my untrained ear at first had it is 'Yumani' which came back as being a village in Bolivia - and I was pretty certain that wasn't right! Then it clicked; As Rama was a name, perhaps this was too. 'Indian girl names beginning with Y' (it was early days of going ogling and learning to ask the correct questions is half the battle).
The list was not long and there it was... As soon as I saw it in print, I 'knew' it. As is the case with names on such sites, there was a single meaning. 'Night'. At that point it was enough. I had been born at night. The night was when I have always been at my most creative; and as mentioned in earlier post, am quite fond of the dark. The Lord knew this about me and was naming me accordingly. I thought.
Bear in mind that all of this took place without any connection to anything to do with Hinduism. Yes I had Indian friends - but here is where I confess that I never really inquired into their faith, as I had that Westerner's jaundiced eye about 'multiple gods'. I was ignorant, in terms of allowing for there being a philosophy behind such.
I kept the vision night to myself. All vision experiences. They are not easily shared. You understand why, I'm certain, sitting here reading it now. However, the end is not reached.
Some three months later, Emm asked me if I'd go to a ladies workshop with her. 'Where?'
'At Chinmaya Mission. It's a Hindu ashram.'
I swallowed hard and agreed.
...tbc...
Is this still about a name? Yes; but the name is only the beginning.
"What do you prefer to be called?"
This was a polite and heartfelt request, much appreciated. It caused me to realise, firstly, that the Mac History has fallen a bit by the wayside; the last chronological offering was eight months ago... with a sporadic handful since. In some ways, dipping into bits and pieces is easier for this writer, perhaps less boring for a reader.
Secondly, it sent me reeling along Menory Lane. You see, after that next 'divergence', there were not really any bosses or colleagues to relate scary tales about. There were definitely characters, and bit by bit, if it rolls that way, they shall appear here. However, the push towards a career in medicine - and that too of the 'alternative' kind - was very much written in praarabdha (destiny). That can only be said in hindsight, of course.
How is this related to the email received? Well, it turned out that exposure to the study of various complimentary modalities also touched upon different forms of addressing spirit and this is a driving force for the YAMster. More on the studies another time, this is leading up to an exploration of what's in a name.
My parents gave me the name Alison. Just that, nothing more. Not for any reason of meaning, but because my mother and my grandmother were both 'Elison'. The tradition, till the 1950's and 60' at least, was that the first-born be named for the maternal /paternal lineage. However, mother decided that I need not be cursed with what she had all her life... people constantly asking if she meant 'Alison'. There is an irony to this, because no matter what one's name (other than a Biblical standard), there will always be alterations made by others.
Of course, it wasn't long into life before the shortened version got majority use. Ali it was - unless in trouble or formal situations. There was strong identity; always preferred Ali over Alison. In OZ I never used Alison at all. Always introduced myself with Ali. Pet hate? Folk who then assumed they could call me Alison!
Did not really give it that much thought until the time I found myself very coolly responding to a boss who asked after intros whether he might just call me by my full name. "My full name is Ali."
That was the very first time I pondered making that my legal name. Just never got round to it. However, the idea that how I was called held some value beyond physical identification was intriguing. In English-based culture, whilst there are 'pop' meanings for names, we do not really set a lot of store by them. It can be fun to think 'oh it means having sacred nobility', but how often would we seek to become the value or essence of our name? ...unless a bit 'out in the forest'.. you know.. cuckoo, (another name I've been called on occasion!)
During such inner explorations as were opened to me at that time, there was much catharsis. The part of me which had experienced a childhood moment on a hillside, in a moment of dance and again in a moment of devotion, but had somehow lain dormant for quite some years, was finding its way back to the surface.
'Moments' started to return. I realised that I had missed the presence of that inner voice and its physical presentations. This is also when there were serious enquiries into Shamanism, Buddhism, B'Hai etc.
That was the night I collapsed before Him and begged forgiveness for my forgetfulness. I recalled the surrender in that moment of darkness and allowed the whole of me to melt away once more.
Now, it could be left at saying my name was given to me and leave it at that. This, however, would be failing both its purpose and that of its owner. "Oh that is pretty, what does it mean?" is the question which arises - in the eyes, if not the voice - of all who hear it. What is about to be related is necessary in order to convey there is no such thing as 'just a name'. Do not turn away, neither scoff. Know that here sits one who may have been guilty of the same scepticism herself in the past. The logical mind worked all explanations for why others would make such claims. Experience changes that. Then the logical mind has to find out why.
As I sat empty that night, some nine years past, a calmness came which cannot be conveyed in words. I opened my eyes and there again, after so many years, stood Yeshu... well, the essence of being I know as Him. Forgiveness was granted, then something astounding... He told me to "listen to My new face."
At which point He turned around and another figure appeared. This was only from the waist up and was so shiny and beautiful...and blue. I would like to emphasise here, that till this point in spite of all researches, Hinduism had not been among them and at this stage I had absolutely no idea who or what this was. The language was also completely out of my ken. However, there were three phrases which I came to extract from the speaker's repetition of them. Shravanam, Rama and Yamini.
Then He was gone.
Straight away, before forgetting them, I did what any computer-literate geeky type does with questions. The search engine came back with so many things for shravanam I couldn't make sense of them, so left that alone. Rama, typed in, immediately revealed this to be an avatar (human incarnation) of God...'oh. Yeshu's new face!' Then I had a go at Yamini. Except my untrained ear at first had it is 'Yumani' which came back as being a village in Bolivia - and I was pretty certain that wasn't right! Then it clicked; As Rama was a name, perhaps this was too. 'Indian girl names beginning with Y' (it was early days of going ogling and learning to ask the correct questions is half the battle).
The list was not long and there it was... As soon as I saw it in print, I 'knew' it. As is the case with names on such sites, there was a single meaning. 'Night'. At that point it was enough. I had been born at night. The night was when I have always been at my most creative; and as mentioned in earlier post, am quite fond of the dark. The Lord knew this about me and was naming me accordingly. I thought.
Bear in mind that all of this took place without any connection to anything to do with Hinduism. Yes I had Indian friends - but here is where I confess that I never really inquired into their faith, as I had that Westerner's jaundiced eye about 'multiple gods'. I was ignorant, in terms of allowing for there being a philosophy behind such.
I kept the vision night to myself. All vision experiences. They are not easily shared. You understand why, I'm certain, sitting here reading it now. However, the end is not reached.
Some three months later, Emm asked me if I'd go to a ladies workshop with her. 'Where?'
'At Chinmaya Mission. It's a Hindu ashram.'
I swallowed hard and agreed.
...tbc...
Is this still about a name? Yes; but the name is only the beginning.
I is very much enjoying reading about your journey Aunty Yam….you will always be Aunty Yam to me, I hope you don't mind?
ReplyDeleteLoves and licky kisses
Princess Leah xxx
Hari OM
DeleteOf course not little darlin'!!! Yxx
Intriguing. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteMy current boss is Alison/Ali. A lovely person.
The name Gail. I have found, is pretty bomb proof as far as alternatives are concerned.
Cheers, Gail.
Hari OM
Deletethis is true... though I did know a Gayle in OZ - the place of the ultimate shortenings! - who inevitably got called Gay; can't help feeling the spelling didn't help her on that one!!! Yxx
Always fascinating, and waiting the next installment. I think in the end we may be asked to put it all in chronological order. OK.
ReplyDeleteHari OM
Delete...*sigh*... I fear you may be right... Yxx
Oh, now your response gains depth and meaning! But you're going to make us wait? Not fair! We very much understand the hesitation to share visions. Thanks for trusting this audience!
ReplyDeleteKeep Calm & Bark On!
Murphy & Stanley
Hari OM
Delete...and thank YOU for 'listening' so patiently! Yxx
Crikey ..... I'm with the Princess .... I love reading about your journey too but you'll just be Aunty to me. Can't wait for the next installment.
ReplyDeleteHari OM
DeleteI love being aunty to you Charlie mate... Yxx
I have always been a firm believer in calling people what they want to be called, unless they are awful and in that case they usually get called something I can't write here.
ReplyDeleteHow intriguing! I am fascinated with names and naming. Our youngest grandbaby is Cluny, from a 1940s book. She is so cute!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this!
Although this post is more than just about a name I do understand about having a certain name.
ReplyDeleteI was originally Peggy which I never really liked and then when my posh grandfather in London wrote in a letter to my mother than he thought my name Peg sounded like a common household utensil that did it for me. When I was 11 I asked my mum if I could change my name my deed poll to Margaret. Of course family and friends continued to call me Peg or Peggy for years. It was not till I began a new job when I was 42 that I suddenly became Margaret to nearly everyone I knew.
I guess when one gets down to it "What's in a name?" etc etc xx