Menofestiff; Trad/non-Trad

The DB gang asked us to share something about how we celebrate Christmas.

tradition

trəˈdɪʃ(ə)n/

1.the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way.

The Mac Clan doesn't really have traditions. Of course, there is the general and prevailing thing of 'one must decorate' and gift-giving, but this is not in the least unique. What about the YAMster though?

By the time I was seven and asking to attend Sunday School, I was starting to set myself apart from the rest of the family unit, which had no particular interest - beyond the school nativity play - as to the spiritual purpose of the festival. Majority rules, so I carried on being part of the usual commercial madness. It must be stated, for the record that, in childhood years at least, my parents (more specifically, mother) ensured that we kept our heads level as to what was to be expected from under the tree. We were very well gifted, but always sensibly. It was also ensured that we wrote our thank you letters to grandparents, aunts and uncles.

The time came when the family had to be split apart due to working requirements for the father and the clan, as a group, growing up and moving out. The getting together for Christmas then started to mean a bit more about simply being a unit again. However, I noticed that there was a lot of what might be termed as 'compensation' giving, with an excess of gifts and 'stuff'. I have never been one for 'stuff'. It gathers and festers and haunts one with 'well I was a gift so you have to keep me.'

As I grew and started to live my own life, I opted to focus on the spiritual nature of Christmas. This did cause a few times of discord in the gatherings. To be mocked by strangers is one thing. To be mocked by one's own can be painful. Mother was always my guardian, though she herself may not have held my views - and this must be seen in the context of most families, that anything different must surely mean a bid for attention and not that it actually holds any true value. Sibling envy and rivalry. I never had any energy or interest in it, but the two younger ones did - and still do. (Not damagingly so and the Love outweighs it most times - but occasionally uncomfortable!) It does get tiring feeling that one has to defend oneself and one's choices, though.

Emigration to Australia gave me the freedom to celebrate as I saw fit and not have to justify it to anyone. I joined in with friends' gatherings from time to time, but mostly I spent Christmases alone - and enjoyed them thoroughly. 

As I adopted and adapted over the years, in my spiritual understanding and practice, I never lost my connection with Yeshu, therefore Christmas (and Easter) still hold great significance for me. Indeed, my understanding of His teachings has been much improved and strengthened as a result of taking on Advaitic philosophy and Hinduism. I also choose to acknowledge the role of nature and how it played its part in the 'tradition' we all practice, of bringing in the greenery and burning candles. In OZ, that took the form of eucalypt branches and bunches of boronia; here it is the more familiar holly and ivy.

When I repatriated (four years now!), I had to deal with the culture shock of 'the family gathering'. The Maestro was still with us and it turned out that the Clan had developed a 'non-trad' trad of always spending the big day at her house, with her daddy cooking the main meal and Mac1 doing the drinks and pudding. Boxing day was always spent, apparently, with Mac2 organising things. I fell in with this, as I had not really had an opportunity to get to know my niece and it was a fine bonding time. Sadly, it was Christmas two years ago now that she fell into her final, fatal coma.

Last year, mainly for my siblings' succour, I joined in the gathering at father's house; but there was definitely a sense of lack, for them, and it was something I could not fill. This year, it will be very different again, as all seek to find how they adapt to what had become their own particular tradition. 

For me, there is a minimal association and therefore it has been the chance to say that I will revert to having Christmas alone. Each year may be different, depending on others' movements, but it will be good this year, at least, to spend it in meditation, chanting, praise and simplicity. For food, I am planning a nut roast, with roast pumpkin and potato, stuffed capsicum and a herb sauce. There may be some chocolate involved at some point.

I did put together a little box of 'mindings' for each of the clan - this year Mara's mice are getting a showing! Plus a few little op-shop finds. The giving is for Love and fun and nothing more. I took them over earlier in the month to await the arrival of Macs 2 and 3 from the Southern regions... there is no expectation or desire for 'return' gesture. I shall go over to Edinburgh on their last night there, in order to share a little time altogether. When they head South again, I shall remain with the father for Hogmanay and the first week of the year.

Adaptation and non-tradition leave one free to actually enjoy the festival. When things get set in stone, that is when problems arise - because everyone has their own interpretation! To cry, 'but it's always done this or that way' is neither helpful or peaceful.

Wherever and however you are going to be celebrating your end-of-year holidays, I pray that it is everything you wish for and that, most of all, Joy prevails.

Love and Blessings, YAM xx