'A sense of humour lends you poise, it gives you balance and it helps you to bend without breaking'

(HH Pujya Gurudev Swami Chinmayananda)

Men-oH-so Good

हितबुद्धि
Hitabuddhi…

No. Not 'hit a buddy'… that's "heata bood dhy"… close enough for the YAMster's work.

Moving on. This translates as 'well-disposed' or 'friendly-minded'. We all appreciate when someone is this to us - but how are we to them?

As has been mentioned, Vedanta concentrates on getting the mind straight, and everything else will follow suit. It is the ultimate self-development tool. There are no quick fixes, no magic mixes, extirpating elixirs, potent potions or even any ten-minute tablets. What is continuously stated with patience and emphasis is that purushaartha - self-effort - will pay dividends.

Any philosophy we choose to see us through life, if it is worth its salt, will impress on the adherent that steady and regular application of the exercises and disciplines within it are required to manifest what is promised. In the majority of cases, this is to be the very best human beings that we can be.

To apply oneself in this way requires a keen mind, a dedicated mind and a kind mind.

A mind which is constantly flitting hither and thither will not succeed. Distraction by any external thing which attracts and attaches us to it will cause the mind to resist the focus required for this kind of self-development.

One of the measures as to our state of mind is how we are disposed towards others. This was mentioned in the Ahimsa post. We can use all the sweet words we like, but if the intention behind them is less than sweet, those very same words become sour and even poisonous. Perhaps not directly to those who hear them - but certainly to our own inner being! Softness of mind is not the same thing as weakness of mind. This is often the mistake made. To be gentle can require great strength of character - particularly in stressful situations. Knowing when to be हितानुकारिन्/hitaanukaarin - act in a manner which is right and kind - can mark us apart in a crowd.

It is not a condition we can summon up on demand. We need to be instinctively kind. It IS something we can cultivate. First, we have to be aware of our prickles, our spines. Watch when those barbs are released from within us. They may not reach the voice or the hands, but the thoughts have risen and disturbed the equilibrium. To point and blame another for disrupting our thoughts is pointless.

We alone have control of our thoughts. We alone are responsible for how we respond to any situation. Others' opinions and deeds may have the potential to harm us - but it is up to us whether we permit this or not. If we have cultivated true kindness, true hitabuddhi, we will be able to turn without harm.

Remember there are many points of view in the world and many ways of delivering those views. Being hitabuddhi means that we can listen, but we do not necessarily have to take them on. We have the choice to reject, to turn away (hrit/harati), but we do not have to do so unkindly… be firm, but be fair.



21 comments:

  1. Friendly minded...I like this idea. Kinda like you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Mama used to always tell me when someone was mean to me never stoop to their level by being mean but to rise above it. Not to hard to do as I'm not at all at fighter I'm a fixer/peacemaker. She also told me that the problem lies in how one handles a situation not the situation. I have struggled with that the most...because of being a fixer/peace maker I don't always think things through.
    Hugs HiC

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    1. Hari OM
      Welcome to another week of deeper thinking and sparkling conversation! Your mama was so correct; you can put ten people in a single situation and every one of them will deal differently with it - some very successfully, others less so. It all comes down to experience and one's hitabuddhi!!! Thanks for always being here HiC. Yxx

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  2. I really like this one. and I love the way it LOOKS. a piece of ART हितानुकारिन्/hitaanukaarin to me that looks like art. this I basically have a kindness with in me, i feel kind towards the suffering in people and animals. and most of the time i am kind until those inner prickles and spines rear their ugly heads. Especially if i am trying to be kind to someone i just do not like. knowing what is right but not doing it.

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    1. Hari Om
      I love your observations and reflections, Sandra! The Devanagari script is very artistic (I love physically writing it) and in many ways that times into the living of the words as being an art also... such as knowing the right and deciding how to act... Yxx

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  3. I'll never forget what was said of my Uncle Jack at his funeral, that he always looked for the good in people. Something I aspire to do too (but fail on occasion). Cheers, Gail.

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  4. Sort of another way of saying to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

    It is fairly easy to be nice to those who are nice to us, but being friendly-minded to everyone can be a challenge we should all take on.

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    1. Hari OM
      Yes, that's the thing; many of these concepts can look like the same thing, but the individual words are pointing out the facets we can polish within ourselves in order to carry out the 'doing'! &*> Blessings to you as we start the second week of that A-Z, and immediate challenge which I am greatly enjoying and thank you for coming along with me! Yxx

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  5. If life what a magic wand or ten minute pill. Well there would be such a epidemic.
    Coffee is on

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  6. I walk away from untenable situations. Though I can recall being struck, and remaining to be struck again. Lessons learned.

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    1. Hari OM
      Well, of course, we are not talking physically abusive situations here. There is nothing in any philosophy which condones that (despite how some might interpret...) No, this is about the "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" level of things. We must be careful of not being the ones slinging the sticks or the stones. It is absolutely appropriate to 'walk away from the untenable'. Harati is paramount then. Yxx

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  7. Such wise words. Thank you for this.

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  8. This is something I've been learning a lot about over the last few years.The fact that I am responsible for how I react to a situation, how much a situation affects me, and how happy I am. I've always been much to influenced by people and situations - now I work at how I respond and on my boundaries. It's all a learning curve though.

    Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au
    Hang on to your Dreams

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  9. So true and definitely worth following. If we are able to find that equilibrium then we maintain positivity. Wow!

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  10. I love all the quotes here today. Particularly the one from Matthew. However, in my own microlevel experience it doesn't always work, the violence just keeps going on - sometimes one mustn't turn the other cheek but get as far away as possible from the striking hand - mentally and physically. Knowing when to turn the other cheek/distance oneself is a huge lesson.

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    1. Hari OM
      Absolutely, Nilanjana; that is stated in the final paragraph and in response to Joanne's comment. This is not to be taken as condoning one-on-one abuses and harati is the definite choice of action in such cases. The point, though, is that one can stand one's ground without things becoming a battlefield - if one has sufficient inner strength. Neither can this address the state of actual war as a whole, but even within war, the individual can work on maintaining nobility of spirit and that can include timely retreat. This is the philosophical stance and it is appreciated that experience can shake and twist the core of one's faith and trust.

      These articles, I reiterate, are for those who wish to think more deeply about their personal growth and their responsibility in their own paths. Thank you for prompting me to further expansion and clarification. YAM xx

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  11. I have met people who see kindness and gentleness as weakness and I think it must be exhausting to live in a world where you suspect others and are not "well-disposed" as you described it. Especially when it involves being completely two faced, thinking one thing and pretending everything is wonderful on the outside. I read a great book called "A Sphere of Serenity", and one of the first things it tries to impart is not leaping to judgement.
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings - Movie Monsters

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  12. Thank you for reminding us all that it's our intentions and state of mind that matters. I tend to turn away a lot these days due to the state of affairs in the US government and the divisiveness among the citizens. The fighting is reaching a deafening level with no one listening to others. So, I turn away or I try to say something kind to someone with whom I disagree.

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  13. I loved the way you explained the meaning of hitabuddhi. So many points of view in this world! Listening doesn't mean we have to adopt it. We can be kind as well as be firm.
    Wonderful post :)

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  14. A great reminder of the need for these attributes. namaste, janice xx

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  15. A beautiful post....as are the comments!!

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  16. This certainly is my JB. He is even kind to the spammers on the phone, most of the time!
    (ツ) from Cottage Country Ontario , ON, Canada!

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