'A sense of humour lends you poise, it gives you balance and it helps you to bend without breaking'

(HH Pujya Gurudev Swami Chinmayananda)

MenoXceptional is the act of Forgiveness; FFF

]am
Kshaama - forgiveness
(There is no 'x' in Sanskrit - 'ksh' is the closest sound.)

Incorporating A-Z into my regular Final Friday Fiction. To see the preceding tales, click here. Those dropping by from A-Z, the theme remains but couched now in some short fiction. If you wish, you may join in but please read the rules… unless you have a story/poem/anecdote posted according to them, please do not use the linky. The YAMster can be surprisingly strict!

The book chosen for its page 87 - "Shankara The Missionary" (CCMT, o.o.p.)
8 - he declared
12 - great love
16 - Master

IN HINDERTWIG ONCE.

Low Sooz was brazen. Hill Bert had no idea she had it in her. There was a bit of him which started to wonder. Did she have her own agenda in rising through the ranks? Each night, though, she returned to him on their favourite patch of froth moss and he was reassured. She was his great love, and he could imagine no other.

Every time, Low Sooz requested his forgiveness. There came the day he wondered at this.

“What to forgive, Soozma? We have agreed on this action between us.”

“Yes, my sweet, but if I do not ask your forgiveness each day, I fear I will never be able to forgive myself. That would lead to forgetfulness and our road would be fraught with mud and fog.”

“Well!” he declared in return, “again I am reminded how very wise you are. You are the Master of the art of Hinderness!”

“Master? Surely you mean mistress?”

“No my sweet. Until we have something to add to the language, I mean Master. I do not believe there is any who can better you. You are equal to all, yet stand apart. I do not only love you, Soozma, I am in awe of you.” He paused, gazing into her luminous eyes. “Soozma, whatever it is that we must do, we do because there is a greater call. Our leader has asked it of us. You will not require my forgiveness, but I give it anyway. Forgiving ourselves… well, that may be harder, the deeper this play takes us. You are right to not let us forget. Forgive whilst things are small, or we may not be able to forgive at all. Is it not so?”

Low Sooz gleamed, her smile so gentle and the look in her eye so understanding, Hill Bert thought that if he never woke tomorrow, heaven could not be this fine.

"Yes, Hillbee… but then to forgive would be greater still."

(358 words)
© Yamini Ali MacLean

2018
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This post is connected with reference made in the "Q" for Kharu post. Forgiveness was alluded to and it brought out some great comments. One, in particular, prompted me to extend this post with the core of my response to it.

It can be very difficult to rise above our ego-self both to ask and to give 'sorry', no denying. Please think on this, however... Forgiveness, if applied, does heal. However, in continuing to 'work' the wound, if pain continues or worsens because of this, then forgiveness has not been applied, only words said. 

Just as there is capital 'ell' Love, there is also True Forgiveness. No grudge held, no festering, no revenge plotted. If we learn to say 'it's okay I forgive you' without it being in our hearts and minds we are not only misleading the forgiven but damaging ourselves as the forgiver. Conversely, if we learn to say sorry for the small things each day, with genuine intent, knowing how to seek forgiveness, we can also find it in ourselves to forgive on a daily basis. Our 'forgiveness muscle' gets good exercise so that when the real test comes, we can find that space in our hearts to ask and to give forgiveness. To do this when the need is greatest requires the strongest part of our character, that part which is the master of its own destiny.

Forgetting is not a required part of forgiveness. However, if forgiveness has truly taken place, the remembering can be viewed as if on a screen; the incident may be unpleasant but can not directly affect us. True Forgiveness releases bonds of the past no matter how strong or how tenuous. Only then, can we start afresh. 


Beyond the purpose of these articles on spiritual uplift, as a counsellor, I had to work with many clients on aspects of asking and giving forgiveness and there are a variety of exercises and tools which can be applied, even for the deepest and most ancient pains. This is clearly not the place to elaborate on such - but I can provide this link, from which arise a number of other highly valuable links, for general reading and understanding. 


Learning to properly seek and give forgiveness is one of the most empowering things you will ever do for yourself.







18 comments:

  1. YAM that too some serious work to include into your A-Z....bravo.
    this is my favorite line
    You are equal to all, yet stand apart. I do not only love you, Soozma, I am in awe of you.”
    We'll link up before bedtime tonight.
    Hope your day has been wonderful
    Hugs HiC, B and Madi

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  2. "Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
    I get that.
    Cheers, Gail.

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  3. Oh yes! I loves that quote from Ghandi! Such a wise man
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  4. Lovely, Yamini! Happiness is good health and a poor memory, they say. Think you should do an entire series-sometimes fiction can help make 'dry' concepts come alive...

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  5. I love how they see forgiveness ... it is a long way to become as wise and well balanced to see it that way... butt we try...

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  6. Question: In true forgiveness, is it possible to still hurt for the other person and their condition that caused them to deeply hurt you?

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    1. Hari OM
      this is an excellent question! Beyond theory, it is also my experience that to in true forgiveness no hurt remains... but there CAN be sorrow. There is no doubt that in such deep hurts the relationship from that point, even with forgiveness, will not hold the same quality it did before and we can definitely be sad that someone got it so wrong - but if we have indeed truly forgiven, there will be no trace of hurt.

      Granted this is not an easy thing - but Oh MY Lord... it is so freeing... Yxx

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  7. Its not easy to forgive and let go as one feels hurt and sorrow. I find it quite difficult to let go when I am hurt. I try and apologise as and when I can - but yes holding onto a grudge seems easier than letting go. I wonder why we feel better in holding onto something so negative rather than moving on and letting go?

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    1. Hari OM
      It's the ego, Shalini - it will always come back to our attachment to our status and sense of self in the individual way. When someone has truly hurt us it requires maturity to be able to convey that to them and to forgive, even if there is not apology.

      ... what must be guarded against in the wider context, of course, is that we are not taking slight out of egoism, where no harm was intended... Yxx

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  8. good idea to combine the two. to me forgiving is a lot easier than forgetting. and sometimes it takes me a while to forgive, it is not easy.. but holding a grudge and not forgiving, holding hate for a hurt, is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

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    1. Hari OM
      That's an excellent analogy, Sandra! For that is describing exactly... Yxx

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  9. Hi Yamini - I haven't been commenting ... as I need to study each of your posts and so will come back and read through once the A-Z is over ... the posts cover aspects that I'm not sure about to be able to comment sensibly on ... But appreciate your comments on my posts - cheers for now - Hilary

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    1. Hari OM
      Hi Hilary - yes, there's a bit to digest here! We're nearly there... I shall by putting all the posts onto a separate page for ease of access... Yxx

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  10. Forgiving can be the hardest thing in the world when the hurt has never gone away. I can forgive most things... but not the taking of a life.

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    1. Hari OM
      That is of course outside the purvue of personal forgiveness; it is a wider social context and a matter of law also. For those most directly affected ti is surely the most difficult of things to bear... however there is strong evidence of the value of forgiveness even of this. True healing for those who are prepared to face what seems insurmountable. Examples are readily found; this is but one. YAM xx

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  11. I definitely agree with the fact that you can forgive but you don't have to forget. I think forgiveness frees you, but if you remember the lesson then you are less likely to end up repeating the pain a second time.

    Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au
    Y for You are Unique

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  12. My dear Hubby is one of the most forgiving persons I know. He sets an example for me every day of our 5+ decades together. namaste, janice xx

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