Hari OM
I've been over at the father's again. The monthly visit. Originally intended for six days it became nine. These visits grow ever more 'fluid' as his needs rise or if Mac1's time has interfered with her own ill-health. Poor thing went down with a very bad throat this time.
The visit was not without its issues, as the post yesterday and today's title might indicate.
F-raught
F-rustrated
F-eisty
I could say it was only him. However, the truth of the matter is that there was something of these in myself too! Father's is due to the toll which Parkinson's is taking upon him and his life-long habit of not talking. If one measures it just right, there are glimmers - briefest of moments - where there may be several sentences of conversation directly related to the case. Mostly though, nothing. Any attempt by the daughter to open things up caused fraught tension, feisty responses and then frustrated silences.
There was only one point where I had to take myself to the other end of the house and get stuck into a book. Generally, I am very even-tempered, so as much as anything, I was frustrated with my own lack of patience at the rebuffs.
However, the visit, on the whole, was as enjoyable as these periods usually are. We had poetry sharing (father has a phenomenal memory and breaks into recitals without any warning!), shared television of nature shows, antique shows and murder mysteries, and I made soup. Lots of soup. It goes down well on restricted oesophageal tracts.
From my side, there were FFF moments related to having taken only the YAMroid with me in order to travel light. I purchased a small bluetooth keyboard to work with it - but did still find myself feeling restricted and constrained in what could and could not be done with the tablet versus with Voovoo the Vaio. Frustration was heightened when I couldn't comment on any WordPress blogs and even on some Blogger blogs - the latter, I realised, was due to their having G+ comments set up and those are being phased out as per the closure of Google Plus. With WP, it took a bit to sort out my sign-in, but eventually managed it... sigh...
Given that I intend to travel my two months in OZ with only the YAMroid, there could be a few HBO words floating around the immediate vicinity of the YAMster...
I've been over at the father's again. The monthly visit. Originally intended for six days it became nine. These visits grow ever more 'fluid' as his needs rise or if Mac1's time has interfered with her own ill-health. Poor thing went down with a very bad throat this time.
The visit was not without its issues, as the post yesterday and today's title might indicate.
F-raught
F-rustrated
F-eisty
I could say it was only him. However, the truth of the matter is that there was something of these in myself too! Father's is due to the toll which Parkinson's is taking upon him and his life-long habit of not talking. If one measures it just right, there are glimmers - briefest of moments - where there may be several sentences of conversation directly related to the case. Mostly though, nothing. Any attempt by the daughter to open things up caused fraught tension, feisty responses and then frustrated silences.
There was only one point where I had to take myself to the other end of the house and get stuck into a book. Generally, I am very even-tempered, so as much as anything, I was frustrated with my own lack of patience at the rebuffs.
However, the visit, on the whole, was as enjoyable as these periods usually are. We had poetry sharing (father has a phenomenal memory and breaks into recitals without any warning!), shared television of nature shows, antique shows and murder mysteries, and I made soup. Lots of soup. It goes down well on restricted oesophageal tracts.
From my side, there were FFF moments related to having taken only the YAMroid with me in order to travel light. I purchased a small bluetooth keyboard to work with it - but did still find myself feeling restricted and constrained in what could and could not be done with the tablet versus with Voovoo the Vaio. Frustration was heightened when I couldn't comment on any WordPress blogs and even on some Blogger blogs - the latter, I realised, was due to their having G+ comments set up and those are being phased out as per the closure of Google Plus. With WP, it took a bit to sort out my sign-in, but eventually managed it... sigh...
Given that I intend to travel my two months in OZ with only the YAMroid, there could be a few HBO words floating around the immediate vicinity of the YAMster...
Ohhh good thing you are practicing up before going to OZ.
ReplyDeleteI understand your struggle with patience as you are probably doing as I used to do with my parents.. repeating lots of the same things. Daddy mostly due to NOT listening/hearing and refusing to wear hearing aids which made patience harder because it was avoidable for the most part.
Hugs Hic
Please don't beat yourself up about feeling frustrated with your father. These situations are mighty frustrating as well as upsetting. And often there simply is no easy solution. During the worst times with my parents (Dad's dementia deepening and mother in denial about not coping) it would only take about three days in Nottingham before I reached the "Bertie needs a walk, I'm going out" stage...
ReplyDeleteSending hugs, Gail.
I think a lot of us have been there done that. my problem is I am a carbon copy of my dad and his personality. we started butting heads like goats by the time I was 2 years old. he started with zero patience, never had any in his life and then when he got Parkinson's and dementia, the zero patience got even worse. I like the keyboard and was not aware there was one that big. I don't blog or comment on my android, not sure if I could. good idea to practice before you need it
ReplyDeleteHari OM
DeleteDon't be fooled by the angle of the photo-taking. The YAMroid is a 7"x4" tablet - the keyboard is 11"x4.5" so compact to say the least. But at least it has actual keys so I can do my touch typing - but the challenge for me is the same as adjusting to a new wallet - one has to adapt to some familiar things being in different places. It beats handling the onscreen tapping though!!! Yxx
When the going gets tough, the tough make soup. Lots of it. Comfort food for sure.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet photo ~ love it ~ ^_^
ReplyDeleteHappy Day to you,
A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)
Hope Mac1 is feeling better soon. Do you think there is some generational reasons for your father being of few words?
ReplyDeleteEven if it frustrated I bet your dad love having your company?
ReplyDeleteHaving had my mother live with us for 18 years (when we had three young children with very active lives) and she had many physical ailments, I can totally relate to what you are experiencing. Patience, and lots of it, is in high demand:)
ReplyDeletehugs to Mac1 and to you... and lots of weim-power and pawsitive thoughts...
ReplyDeleteI liked that comment by Forsythia: When the going gets tough, the tough make soup.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the paternal and the new keyboard.
Huge Klem
Tough and oh-sop-common situation with your father. I have an impression that, if anyone can handle it, it would be you with your deep thinking and empathy. You are a good daughter to stay so long and make so much soup! I hope that your keyboard is helping the blog situation :) Hugs.
ReplyDeleteIt was supposed to say "oh-so-common"... because I experience it too in this stage of life with my father.
DeleteI understand - between his ignoring me all day while he watches sports on the highest volume available I can only do about 4 days at a time with my Dad. Less in the summer because he's always cold so rather than put on a sweater he opens up the doors and windows when it's 100 plus degrees out (no a.c. in the house).
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy.
ReplyDeleteJB's step-father had dementia, only they didn't know it, as he seldom spoke.
My dad lost his hearing aids, after he broke them a couple of times. It was difficult. I hear you.