I fell asleep. Somewhere around two, two-thirty. Maybe three. In the afternoon. It had to happen sometime. I have had a very wakeful week. The menosomnia appears to have returned. I think it just went into hibernation for the duration of cares. Let's be honest, there was so much abnormal waking time during those months anyway that the body ended up grabbing whatever it could whenever it could.
Okay, so perhaps it's not the menosomnia but a flashback to Edinburgh. But I am more inclined to think that it is just that the physical body has been lacking the challenge it had during that time and has not been getting exhausted enough.
I have been using my 'chair cycle' as well as doing stuff around the Hutch... but it is nothing compared to what was there before. I do know, though, that the mental exhaustion remains. Which is partly why I am doing my best to get back into thinking mode. And therein lies, perhaps, another culprit for the long hours. Thinking mode is kinda exciting. The brain really has not been exercised at all properly the past couple of years. Like any muscle, it gets flabby and lazy. Now it is yearning for the widened, alert, expansive sensations that were brought forth a few years back. Having had a bit of a mental orgy, it simply slumped, right at the time it ought to have been getting busy working on a post right here.
It is also occupied with quite a bit of 'where to from here..?' Recognition of one's own advancing years and the need to get practical. The monkey mind has been taking me on all sorts of adventures. Many of them not at all practical, but still a lot of fun to explore. Somewhere during this (Wednesday) afternoon, though, thinking simply became dreaming and then nothingness.
Anyway. I woke at seven. Twenty minutes ago. There was a tiny twinge of panic on realising there were not yet any posts set for Thursday or Friday. I like to keep ahead. Whatever did I have to offer?
Well, there it was... an official 'nanny-nap'!
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| Am a lot greyer, a lot rounder, since this was taken 2013 |
I hope you are able to slowly recover from your intense year of care and your grief.
ReplyDeleteI try not to nap during the day, but often doze and wake with a start for fifteen minutes at a time.
ReplyDeleteIt will be a slow process. I'm glad that you have the time and space to start slowly, as it should be.
ReplyDeleteAsk the Greeks about afternoon nap and you will be advised there is nothing wrong with it; in fact its one of life's necessities. Anyway we are apparently crepuscular (dawn and dusk) and would naturally sleep in the middle of the day if not conditioned to stay awake. Around 3 hours after solar noon is our lowest mental ebb. Why fight nature? Dream up some adventure. Mr T advises sleep at every opportunity. xxx F & Mr T
ReplyDeleteI often try it get a short nap, but there are always two who think otherwise ;O)
ReplyDeleteTaking the 'where to?' perhaps more literally than you intend, I've been wondering what's the latest thinking about relocating back Down Under. Selfishly, Bertie and I are hoping you will stick around in Scotland for a good while. Cheers, Gail.
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DeleteI can nap anywhere and anyplace but it's normally just for 20 minutes or so. It actually makes me mad when I'm reading a good book or watching a great movie☺
ReplyDeletei have never been able to take a nap in day time. UNTIL this pandemic. I usually doze for 15 to 30 minutes after lunch, while reading my eyes get heavy. I find I sleep better at night with a short doze, but if for some reason i go into real sleep and for an hour, I can't sleep that night. if i slept like you did, i would be up for the next 24 hours. did your nap interfere with you night time sleep? I also have the monkey brain that hops and skips and jumps at night keeping me from going to sleep. I do sleep better if I do more moving during the day... we all have our own sleep patterns for sure. hope you get yours back where it needs to be soon...
ReplyDeleteI am a victim of menosomnia too...add to that I have some tinnitus too which is most noticeable when my head hits the pillow at night. I suspect if I sat still on a dreary day I'd take a nanny nap too. Your time is now your own do as your body tells you
ReplyDeleteHugs Cecilia
Menosomnia...I know it well...My monkey brain is often rumination over things I can't let go of and keeps me awake (or wakes me up) almost every night. The path you are following in taking back your life and focusing on your own emotional, spiritual, social, and physical reinvigoration is the one to take, and you my friend are doing it well. I look forward to sharing your path of your self discovery. Oh Yes! Have a marvellously happy day!
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs and Love - Barb
We hope you are able to get the rest you need. It can be tough when the mind starts going and can't stop.
ReplyDeleteIt's awful when you can't sleep! JB and I have the same problem!
ReplyDeleteWishing you peaceful recuperation from the stresses of care and loss. Sister and I looked at each other during the week following Mom's death with a sudden realization. We worked so hard trying everything to help her get better or at least do well. In the end we were left without our mother. Such and empty feeling. namaste, janice xx
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