Menoculayshunal; Woah, Men!

 

Some of the reactions among colleagues and acquaintances to my uprooting myself from OZ to head for India, were if one were uncritical, confusing. If being critical, some of those reactions came out of ignorance and in one or two cases, no interest in improving that state. One such concern was 'how was I going to handle the men?'

Handle the men???!!! It seems that a couple of my 'mates' were under the impression that Indian men were all out to ravage any woman who was alone; or that every swami was nothing but a pervert.

Now, let me be clear. I am no innocent and I have had to - as so very many women in the world have in every walk of life, in every culture and society - had to deal with situations I would rather not have. I am not going to present a list, but simply observe that there have been incidents ranging from fondling, spiked drinks, verbal 'caressing' all the way to the 'unnecessary'.  All of those events were from within the family/social circle or at work. Nothing 'foreign'. What is it that made those women ask me such a question when there is all the present danger close to home? What right is there to suggest that any particular ethnic group of men is any worse than any other? Men are men, with all the privilege they seem to think that affords them. However, women are women and we are far from faultless! This is not a conundrum that is ever going to be solved by a hashtag or even setting laws. Endless efforts to assert equality in all situations have not prevented a continuation of what is, let us be frank, our hardwired natures.

What does bring us out of it is by being proper grown-ups. Using our intellect and intelligence to assert self-control. Knowing and inculcating the accepted standards of our 21st-century society and applying ourselves to adherence to those standards. Call them values, if you will. When we look at them, these values are almost exactly as they have always been and that too, are matched in each and every culture. 

Throughout all my world travels, there had been occasions where it was necessary to deflect unwished-for attention. Not once - not one time, I tell you - did I need to do this whilst in India. True, very little of the travel outwith the ashram was undertaken alone - but I did move around Mumbai alone without incident. It helped that I wore the sari and that too the white of a brahmachari (or some may have assumed, due to age, that I was a widow). Either way, not to be interfered with. What is more, in the Brahmin culture, of which I was now part, women are revered as a goddess. 

It is also part of the understanding that in every man there is woman and in every woman there is man. To be a well-balanced human being is to acknowledge each part of us which is not to do with biological gender. 

It was thrown at me that Indian men will burn their wives or damage them in other ways. Really? Well, what about the men in each of our own societies who carry out atrocities against women? Have we forgotten already? Are we so keen to make others worse in order to try and sanitise ourselves? Femicide is alive and well everywhere - not least here in the UK!!! Please do read that article. Understand its import and impact. Know that every country, every culture, every society has statistics such as these. As you will note to the right, India (part of Asia) does not rank the highest by a long shot. 

No. I did not need to 'handle the men' on my stay in India and, indeed, I was looked after and was honoured by those I was privileged to meet and spend time with. There are some terrible stories and they must be recognised - but we must guard against tarring all with the same brush.

As an adjunct to this post, some of you will be aware that here in Scotland there is a bit of a stoush going on at high government levels. I have no doubt that our First Minister is not absolutely pure, but I am equally without doubt that she is being set up as a scapegoat. As this is IWD, I provide two very interesting articles exploring the issue of what it is to be a woman at the top, versus that of a man.

Gender Politics

F v M Transgressions

STAY STRONG SISTERS!!!