WYSIWYG

What You See Is What You Get. This is a journal blog, an explore-blog, a bit of this and that blog. Sharing where the mood takes me. Perhaps it will take you too.

Menoculayshunal; Twisty Path

With just two months left at Sandeepany, I had my second interview with Acharya-ji regarding 'where to go from here?'... We chatted like brother and sister for nearly an hour. I treasure the memory of that little snatch of time, the peacefulness of the room in which we sat, how the light hit the far wall as the sun dropped, watching the dust dance in the rays, the only thing separating two like-minds. It is curious that - having reached the very depths of despair during my time there as to my inability to memorise - I can recall that conversation as if it were a recording in my head. We talked about family (Swami-ji's parents were guests for discourses regularly, so all the students knew them quite well), how my father's situation had dramatically changed, and how other thoughts had entered my consideration due to a random email. I voiced my rising concern regarding the political situation - and I saw once more how Advayananda Saraswati is an outstanding diplomat. It can be very difficult to walk a boundary and not step on either side.

There was respect, presence, and Love with the capital 'ell' shifting between and around us. I felt heard, understood and secure from the feedback I was receiving. That I was better suited to the solitary and contemplative life as a true sadhvi had become apparent, and I was released to follow that path. As I left that room, though, Acharya-ji's parting words were, "Amma, writing is your priority, but teach, you must...be who you are, and all else will follow."

In the last couple of months, the remaining two texts were inculcated and brought another level of revelation just when we thought there couldn't be any more. That is the nature of Advaita - any study, of course, but remember that this philosophy is designed to reveal One Self to oneself. In that, one comes to understand all humanity - or, at least, understand how it is so completely incomprehensible! That two months also disappeared from under us at what might be considered obscene speed. I don't think any of us was ready to depart our spiritual home. The strange thing for me was that a decision had indeed taken place. My boxes of books and a few personal items were forwarded not to OZ but to Edinburgh. I returned to Sydney to unpack my goods and chattels there and repack for transfer to Scotland.



That brings us to the completion of my time at Sandeepany Sadhanalaya - it is not, of course, the end of my path. That was just the beginning. I have been distracted and interrupted from much of the "unpacking" that is necessary to resolve all the philosophical aspects as well as the life impact and practicalities that come with being a practising Advaitin. The writing of this part of my life story has served a level of catharsis but has also reminded me that I need to refocus, now that I have no obligations to any other. As I write this post, I sit in a level of anticipation with some plans for the next chapter formulating, adjusting, reformulating, shifting and sorting... 


11 comments:

  1. You have worked hard to achieve this point of decision. I'm sure Acharya-ji knew you would come again to this point. I look forward to following you in you path of sorting.

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  2. It's never easy is it? Not easy when you have obligations to others. Still not easy when you have completed what is required of you and have no obligations but to your own self. All the very best with the shifting and sorting.. <3

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  3. Spiritual paths are hard but they have their unique rewards, I believe. I have always felt out of place in centres of spirituality but have felt a strong pulling towards them somewhere in a corner of my heart.

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  4. we think it was a good decision... in any way...

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  5. I believe, everyone chooses the path of his or her calling. That's the mission or the task the Almighty wants us to do. Whatever we do, in that that path / service that we have chosen, we contribute to the society. Thus, there is an overall give and take in the society. That's what counts. That's what matters.
    (My latest post: Online games and the idea of beauty)

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  6. You might have covered this in an earlier post which I missed or have forgotten, but I'm now curious to know more about your "concerns regarding the political situation"?
    Cheers, Gail.

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    1. Hari OM
      Please refer back to "Shifting Gears" post in this series. Yxx

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  7. We might have missed understanding something - you don't wear the graduates robes but you are being urged to write and teach anyway. What do the people in the coloured robes do after graduation?

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    1. Hari OM
      The "robes" are yellow (or orange if one takes sannyaas) and this is all that is worn for the rest of life. One is assigned to a community and lives in provided accommodation. It is the difference between becoming a fully invested priest/nun, able to perform all acts of worship on behalf of a congregation, and a curate/elder/laypreacher. Yxx

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  8. I read Gails comment and your answer and that answered my question too.. I too like to write and create and also have the teaching ability. we are much alike in some things

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  9. YAM I cannot in my wildest mind's eye imagine packing and moving around the world.
    Hugs Cecilia

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