Today
they all return from the Himalayan Yatra.
I am ready for their return. When
a group of people come together with only one goal in mind, working towards
that in community certainly results in bonding.
Mind you,
60 is a large family grouping and it comes with some of the itchy-scratcy
moments you might expect, as egos and cultures rub up against each other - and
I don't refer to West-East here; no, within India itself there are distinct
cultural differences. Competition and
chest-slapping is rife. Rather like the
Scots and the English… or the Canadians and the Yanks… or the Kiwis and the
Roos. It's fun and full of larrikinism
- with a half serious undertone.
They have
been missed though and I look forward in particular to my own part of the
family coming back. One close 'sister',
a couple of 'daughters', a 'brother' or two and some 'sons'. Two in particular I am keen to share time and
compare notes with. We'll call them
Sunwun and Suntoo. I would (and do) call
them li'l bro's, but as they are half my age, that is stretching it a bit. Only in the past few weeks have I come to
appreciate the possibility that, had I ever had children, I would have liked
them to be like this pair.
Sunwun is
the introspective, Nature-loving, observant one. Suntoo is the younger, musical, unfocused
struggler. Both are caring and
respectful and ever attentive to YAM-amma's needs. Both reflect aspects of my own
personality. Both are also strong enough
to be open and honest with me.
I was
overwhelmed by their love when they turned up last month with a gift; they had
clubbed together to buy me a copper-lined patterned steel water jug. It was a gesture of enormous thoughtfulness. That was the moment I thought of them as
sons. Till then, it would have been
difficult to say for sure what role I played in each of their lives. For Sunwun, there is intellectual and
artistic support (he's my surrogate photographic legs and eyes) and Suntoo…
well, he still needs that emotional and directional support I am sure his true
parents would give. With this gift, they
acknowledged in their turn that I have a place in their hearts.
Thus I
look back over the 18 days of liberty that has been afforded me whilst they
were all away. I greatly anticipate many
a tale of wonder and awe from their trip up the marvellous mountains. What will I have to offer in exchange?
Things
different from what might have been thought, as it happens.
All those
essays and the impending dissertation remain to be tackled. When the writing happens though, it will be
quick and to the point, for much reading and contemplation has been done. There has been the time to do this. The text
under study whilst they were in Uttarkashi has also been read and digested, so
we can compare thinking and reactions to this.
All the ruminations and cogitations have deepened the spiritual me a few more
notches - not perhaps in the same way the pilgrimage may have, but I am sure
what was needed for my growth has been received. Sunwun in particular will be able to
measure that. He is an excellent mirror.
All the
ashram grounds have been studied in a way there has not been time for
previously - I have made this my
yatra. Thus I will be able to relate
that in the lower right corner of the property there are two flowers growing which are nowhere else on the grounds.
They are small and delicate and white with a blush of pink. It seems the Lord arranged for them to be
under the shade of the wall and away from 'traffic' in order to ensure their
survival. What, though is the purpose of
their existence? Can they be said to be beautiful if no eye is to fall upon
them? These eyes came. They saw. They have reported. Others may not make the time or effort or
even have the interest to go and gaze directly upon these tiny blossoms of
perfection. Sunwun will.
He too
will understand the analogy for spiritual search at the level of advaita
vedanta.
It is why
we are all together here. The yatras,
whether to the high regions of the 'roof of the world', or on the small slopes
of Sandeepany, came at a point in the course where we can feel the end. ( Not the Realisation of God. That's a greater distance away!) Despite my time being so very differently
spent I can see it was a necessary break as we prepare for the downward
run. An intense period of some five
months remains in which the very highest philosophical texts in Vedantic
literature are to be tackled.
Yours
Truly is likely to find menopolyxinaemia playing havoc as we are expected to
stitch together all the patches we have been given. You've read how I am with needles
(menodropsical) never mind with recall (menosoup) and regurgitation
(menomonomumal). That's where Suntoo
comes in. However bad I've got it, he
can equal me and raise the stakes.
He's a
dear lad. Needs some help though.
Something else I have been able to do over
the past 18 days is go back into my healer/counsellor self for workers and
external friends and, like some kind of magic, integration and lucidity
appeared. It is my svadharma - my key
purpose - to 'be there' for folk. There
was also the opportunity to take the role of spiritual teacher (that's the
other reason we are here) at a recent lunch offering (bhiksha) and there was an amazing
sense of - I say it again - integration
and lucidity. Others calling upon my
experience and talents brings me into focus.
I need
Suntoo to need me. Helping him will help
me.
Thus the
world revolves.
Even though I am new to your blog and have not investigated earlier posts in order to know more about you, I find much of myself (a Canadian senior citizen) in your writing.
ReplyDeleteI love what you've written about Sunwun and Suntoo. I have no children of my own, but my parents let me play an active role in raising my young brother, and my sister effectively gave her elder daughter to me after deciding she was incorrigible.
I had to look up "larrikinism" (apparently an Aussie word I never heard when my young brother and I were there in 1982) but you're right about the Scots (my ancestors) and the English, the Canadians and the Yanks, the Kiwis and the Roos. A great word!
I have tried to follow the instructions for use of your blog, but I can't find a button to push, so you'll have to take my word for it.
K
Hari Om
ReplyDeleteYes and it evolves while it revolves..
Hari OM
ReplyDeleteA belated thank you Kay for such a warm response.
Deepak-ji - soooo true!