Don't get all up on me for that title! I wish only to demonstrate that whilst I do very much miss my animals, I am not at all 'jammed' by their loss. We take on pets knowing that almost certainly we will outlive them. I have long been an advocate of 'active grieving', a process of acknowledging the end before it arrives, which aids in the healing after it does. Mostly I helped folk through their human losses with this technique, but it applies to everything else which can affect us in similar fashion.
Jasper, in his last two years, enforced this really. As mentioned last week, he pretty much 'left' with Jade. Even when he deigned to return to inside living for the final year, we didn't share the cuddles we once did and there was always a scowl in his eyes.
There were one or two lighter moments though; most notably the day when a friend loaned me the golf umbrella from the rear of her car due to sudden precipitation.
Jasper could not get enough of that thing...
That lady was a purveyor and vendor of perfumes and I can only think one or other the odours closely resembled Cat Nip!!!
Half an hour he made close and snuggly communion with the cloth. It also made him more amenable to cuddles with me after.
It was about this time I was awaiting word of my acceptance to Sandeepany in Mumbai and I was beginning to think that I may have to make a heart-rending decision. At 17 years of age and showing signs of turning feral, he was not a good adoption candidate.
Something amazing happened though. April 1st 2011 came round, but Jasper didn't. I searched the neighbourhood and alerted all who knew him, as I suspected he was doing as cats will do...finding the place to 'leave'. On the morning of the 5th April, still no sign. I did however receive mail that had been posted on the 1st from Mumbai.
I was on my way.
Jasper's body was never found. Somehow, I like to think, he knew about my move before I did.
Were there tears? Yes of course. But the grieving had been done, the loss acknowledged long before. He stayed with me only as long as it was necessary to see me to the next major change in my own life.
Want something a tad lighter now? Pop over here...
Jasper, in his last two years, enforced this really. As mentioned last week, he pretty much 'left' with Jade. Even when he deigned to return to inside living for the final year, we didn't share the cuddles we once did and there was always a scowl in his eyes.
There were one or two lighter moments though; most notably the day when a friend loaned me the golf umbrella from the rear of her car due to sudden precipitation.
Jasper could not get enough of that thing...
That lady was a purveyor and vendor of perfumes and I can only think one or other the odours closely resembled Cat Nip!!!
Half an hour he made close and snuggly communion with the cloth. It also made him more amenable to cuddles with me after.
It was about this time I was awaiting word of my acceptance to Sandeepany in Mumbai and I was beginning to think that I may have to make a heart-rending decision. At 17 years of age and showing signs of turning feral, he was not a good adoption candidate.
Something amazing happened though. April 1st 2011 came round, but Jasper didn't. I searched the neighbourhood and alerted all who knew him, as I suspected he was doing as cats will do...finding the place to 'leave'. On the morning of the 5th April, still no sign. I did however receive mail that had been posted on the 1st from Mumbai.
I was on my way.
Jasper's body was never found. Somehow, I like to think, he knew about my move before I did.
Were there tears? Yes of course. But the grieving had been done, the loss acknowledged long before. He stayed with me only as long as it was necessary to see me to the next major change in my own life.
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| copyright Yamini Ali MacLean |
Want something a tad lighter now? Pop over here...
There's no denying cat wisdom, is there, Yam?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Jasper got to meet that umbrella, however.
Luv, K
I think most cats sense when a change is in the wind and sometimes they just don't want it to happen so they just leave, I have had a few just leave a few just turn up a stay forever, they are their own masters.
ReplyDeleteMerle................
Cats help us think, too, pondering their wisdom.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to let them go. I'm glad you had already grasped what was happening and were able to say good bye in your own way before he left.
ReplyDeleteGrief is one of the toughest parts of life, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI just heard a radio piece (insomnia) about animals and emotions.
The Smile of the Dolphins. Mark Bekoff. You might like him!
And my son and fiance are visiting (dang I'm too tired for guests, but there you go) and she mentioned a book about animals. I'l get her to write down the title for me.
Anyway, there we are.
Hari OM
ReplyDeleteYes, cats are the most meditative of critters for sure!! I am fairly certain it was not another home, but that he took himself off to die...From the 'time of the brolly' it was about 10 weeks to April 1st, and he had begun to loose weight rapidly... had I been able to catch hold of him, unlike with Jade, I would in fact have seen to helping him out. But nature is as nature does...
The one cat that could have turned feral (since she was a walk-in), didn't like being a feral. Mainly because she is quite unable to eat anything on the outside and when she made her way back to my friend's house after three weeks, she was skin and bones and very very dirty. She never strays far now and has the life of a god! With as many cuddles as she wants (and more) and people who love her very very much.
ReplyDelete