'A sense of humour lends you poise, it gives you balance and it helps you to bend without breaking'

(HH Pujya Gurudev Swami Chinmayananda)

Menokakkuls; Wordyins

...and to wind up this particular little series of one-liners let me bark out that they have come to you from Mark Haggan. A British businessman and entrepreneur who likes to spread the smiles. I just couldn't resist passing them on.

I saw a sign on shop door that said ‘Guide Dogs Welcome’. I walked in and was greeted by a Labrador who thanked me for shopping and took my coat. 
I know someone who has a dog that keeps eating garlic. His bark is worse than his bite. 
A friend wanted to start collecting dogs. I gave him a couple of pointers. 
A local dog gave birth at the side of the road. She got fined for littering. 
Threw a ball for my dog last night. It’s a bit extravagant I know but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner suit. 
I used to have a dog who liked red wine. He was a Bordeaux collie. 
I know another dog who goes and sits in the corner every time the doorbell rings. He’s a boxer. 
Local dog barks at everyone. He’s a cross breed. 
Got myself a robot puppy. Dogmatic. 
I called my dog Blacksmith. Every time I opened the door, he made a bolt for it.

11 comments:

  1. Oh YaYa you scored a homerun, touchdown and dunked the ball with these.
    They are all excellent!!!
    Hugs HiC

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  2. OMD, I have been missing all your posties!!!! For some reason they disappeared AGAIN from my bloggie list....I gots to have a serious talk with Blogger! grrrrrrrr! Anyhu, BOL!!!! these are good funnies! I really needed them, cause it's a Tuesday. BOL!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  3. Now that kind of ball sounds much more fun than pointlessly chasing a sphere around the garden...

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  4. BOL - great plays on words. And we second HiC's comment.

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  5. Ha ha and groan. Except, I don't get the first one.

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  6. Thank you for those hilarious one liners! Love them!

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  7. A morning laugh always good.
    Merle........

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  8. Yes, your blog seems to give some good pointer about life.
    Hope your day is full blessings
    Coffee is on

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  9. Very good ones!!!!
    hugs
    Hazel & Mabel

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  10. brahahaha cross breed, that is me and hubby, and I love all of these and I want the name of the shop with a lab welcome... love these Yam

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  11. Too funny! Thought of you yesterday while on my morning walk. The is a yellow lab that walks its human around here. The lab saw me and laid down. In chatting with her human he noted she was in training to be a service dog. And that is when I thought of you and your sponsorship of service dogs. Well, this traitorous nation is celebrating rebellion day, or Independence Day as we call it. Take care n will visit after stuffing with hamburgers and hot dogs. Well, not real dogs. namaste, janice xx

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