Me-Now-Views; Less Speak More Peek

Nellu was the stuffy who chose to travel with me to the father's place this time. He was, you might say, the elephant in the room. He didn't quite seem to get the less speak more peek ethos.

Do I have to come out, YAMum? It's quite nice up here with the birds.
Yes, come on, there's an afternoon of fun ahead.

Whatya watchin'?
It's called Rugby Union, Nellu.
Whassat then?
It is a team sport, played with an ovoid ball. There are fifteen players on each team.
...And???
Well, the aim is to score as many points as possible. The ball is to be carried over the Try Line and pressed to the ground or kicked towards the goal posts and over the stretcher bar in order to win points. If the Try is made, then a bonus can be gained by kicking from a standing spot to the goal.

There seems to be a lot of biff and baff and bleeding going on. Is it a war game too?
No, Nellu... though there IS national pride at stake. The teams are allowed to try and regain possession of the ball by tackling. It resembles wrangling sheep, I know... maybe that's why lots of players come from shepherding families. Anyway. If the ball (or player holding it) goes over the sidelines, then it has to be thrown back in - this is called a Line Out. It usually results in a maul and sometimes a ruck.
?? That just looks like a pile of bodies to me!!
 In a ruck, the ball is on the ground. In a maul, the ball is generally in the hands of a player.
Oh, that just makes it so much clearer.

What in the name of the Great White Elephant are they doing now???
That, Nellu, is called a scrum. It is one of the most technical parts of the game. Scrum only happens where there has been an infringement of rules or the ball has become unplayable in ruck or maul. The Scrum Half player has to throw the ball into the scrum and the Hooker goes to work...
HOOKER?!! HOOKERS PLAY RUGBY??!!!
Calm down Nellu. These are the players wearing number two on their jersey. Middle of the front row on each side of the pack. Their job is to 'hook' the ball fed in by the Scrum Half and feed it to the legs behind who in turn feed it back out to the Scrum Half and into play again.
Why, in the name of Precious, did the Scrum Half not just cut out the scrum part of that equation and chuck the ball to the backs anyway???
Nellu, it's not just about getting the ball from A to B - although it is - but about strategy, possession percentages of ball and territory and this is the nearest thing to a battlefield where each side has an equal chance of regaining the ball...
?? Not a war, but a battlefield ??
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What are these folks windbagging about?
It's kinda like a post mortem. The pundits compare notes about what was done, what wasn't done and how it might otherwise have been done.
Does it make a difference to the outcome?
No. They are only opinions.
Then why bother?
Fair point. Cuppa tea time?


In case anyone is interested, find the rules HERE.