MenoSundays; Life Lived Lovingly

After a few weeks of a rather gloomy YAMster, I thought I'd attempt to bring you some kind of good news story. I did a search, you know, as you do...

Dismal. The world over. Even the couple of little 'not negative' stories were rather narcissistic and not something for which the community could heave a collective sigh of relief and hope. It goes without saying, really, that politics dominates on both sides of the Big Pond and I defy anyone to say anything positive about all of that.

To be honest, over this time of lurgy and withdrawal, I managed (for the most part) to avoid the news. I was depressed enough, thank you very much.

More and more I see the benefit of embracing the hermit life.

However, I am no isolationist. In a time when the world seems determined to tear itself into ever-smaller parts, I believe there is a need to opt for togetherness. The pendulum will swing again. It always does. It also has to be admitted that sometimes we have to break bonds that have become truly toxic. How to know who to hold onto and who to release?

The measure is really quite simple. Are you being damaged/taken for granted in the relationship, or are you the guilty party? How can you tell which is the case?

When thinking about the situation in a relationship, is the predominance of your discussion centred on "they/he/she are constantly doing this or that or the other" and what they are doing is causing you pain in some measure or damaging the wider circle. OR, is the predominance of your discussion centred on "I/me and what they/he/she are doing" and all about yourself.

In the first instance, you are likely to be looking for resolutions and keen to give 'second chances'. In the second, it is likely to be entirely selfish and there is an expectation of the world changing to make you feel better.

Conversely to how you may think this is playing out, it is actually in the latter case that change needs to happen and better efforts made. Don't break ties just because you are not getting everything your way. Take a long, hard look and fit yourself into the bigger picture. It is never too late to say sorry and start over, entering into a true spirit of togetherness.

If you are a mediator/fixer and hoping to make things work even when all the evidence points to failure, if it is clear that all the give is yours and the take is theirs, I say again, take a long, hard look and a deep breath and prepare to withdraw.

...well, that went a route I wasn't expecting. Does it mean anything to anybody?