MenoAZinkulling; A

Welcome... this month, here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

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The YAMster's wheels began to wobble, if truth be told, back in mid-2019. Returning from OZ to face the fact that father's health was really on the downward trend and, in discussions with Mac1, working to persuade him to accept the help he so much required. By the end of that year, I was pretty much resident in his home, my own wee Hutch starting to become a stranger to me. 

In Feb 2020, I thought the asthma was getting worse - maybe responding to the cranked-up central heating that dad needed. But along came the Saturday morning when I couldn't rise from bed. An emergency call to Mac1 to come to relieve me of care duties, and I faded away for a week... explosive head, bursting joints, lungs that only worked due to Ventolin and kidneys that ceased functioning despite H2O intake... I didn't urinate for ten days. At no time did I have a fever, nor did I lose my sense of smell. Mac1 suggested at one point that I might have pneumonia and should consider getting to the hospital. 

I don't do hospital. This is a body, remember, that rejects most orthodox treatments beyond simple aspirin or ibuprofen. 

I forced myself from bed on day seven because Mac1 had work and unavoidable personal commitments. I continued to work the year in cares at rarely better than 80% my usual energy and enthusiasm... and a lot of the time a good deal lower than that. This all led to a deep degree of Angst. 

You thought I'd forgotten where I was and what I was supposed to be doing, didn't you?!

Yes. I have a strong sense of duty, and it concerned me greatly that I could not function fully in my care role for dad. Saying that I did function, but at times it was with less grace and sometimes some very poor attitude. This resulted in me falling into bed at night and my mind turning in Agitation.

That, in turn, would lead up to self-criticism and then Anger.

However, I noted that anger was out there in the wider world. A month after my mysterious crumble, the world had gone into meltdown over a rampant lurgy being called various things until they finally settled on COVID-19. A hush came upon the globe as everyone Adapted to social restrictions. There was an Apocalyptic feel to things for a while. I Accepted that it was 99% likely this lurgy was what I had been exposed to back in Feb. Accepting it didn't really help. In May, I even said out loud to Mac1 that I thought my CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome - some call it ME - which I was diagnosed with back in the 1990s) had reared its ugly head again - or that I had at least got some sort of post-viral thing going on.... more on that later.

Out in the big world beyond the walls of #15, things were very haphazard. Every country dealt with things differently - even within the similarities. Although very politically-minded, it is not a subject I regularly discuss; however, if the last twelve months has made anything clear to anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together, we had landed in a very political situation. 

It is a fact of history that, for the last several centuries, major shifts in socio-economic matters have taken place globally, usually within the first quarter of each century. The 20thC had slightly more than its share, with two world wars plus the inter-war period. The 19thC had Chartism, the 18thC saw Scotland subdued and wars with Spain and France, the 17th saw murderous plots and plagues... My point is that a decade ago, I was saying to any who would listen (not many did) that we were due for the 21stC's go at sorting out humankind. Bearing in mind that all the events to which I refer were Man-made. (Natural disasters are many but are separate from this discussion.) 

Despite there having been an exercise in managing a pandemic some two months before the rise of an actual scenario, albeit with slightly different parameters, most governments seemed to have no more idea what to do.

The fact that we are actually four different countries within the UK, cobbled together under Westminster's delusion of 'one country', became ever-more clear. Each devolved nation handled the pandemic in its own way. For all that we were 'in this together,' we were clearly very much Apart.

Scotland's First Minister (oor wee Nicola) rose in the estimation of many as she exercised commonsense and caution and exuded calm. Making the chap down south look like a rank Amateur.

Narcissist

Three Alexanders were notable in the YAMster's year. 

Dear ol' dad

First, my own father. 

Second, the 'wontliedown' ex-FM aka Ahlike Swimhard. 

Third, the performer known as Ah But de Piffler Jigson. 

If you are in any way in favour of the latter two, 

you may wish to read further posts with your eyes shut.

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NB all cartoonised images in this series will have been screenshots from news articles.

See you tomorrow for the ongoing saga. Please be aware that there is more I amAZing over at 

My Take, Aatmaavrajanam and Instagram.