This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk. This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)
☀♉☀
On the personal plane, I mentioned that I just never really picked up post-infection and have been at 80% of my best. If I can be at least 100% of that 80%, I can consider it a good day. But there are quite a lot of days where the percentage is considerably less. Given the state of my muscles some days and the mood, I would definitely relate this to the CFS, which first came upon me in 1992. It took about five years to feel I was clear of it... but as anyone familiar with the condition will know, it lurks, ready to pounce again. More on this when we get to 'L.'
There were, during the times of elder care, periods when Fretfulness took over a bit. Some of this was due to my own lessened health, but a fair bit of it arose from a feeling of entrapment. Let me be clear - not for one moment did I resent having to care for my Father. Indeed, I consider it to have been an honour and privilege to have seen him right to his end. That does not take away the pressure that comes with such care provision and the fact that - due to the pandemic - proper respite was impossible to obtain. My siblings all took their turn - and I was immensely grateful. But I am not sure that they entirely appreciated just how Fraught I was. There were some very dark thoughts passing through at times.
The YAMster is made of stern stuff, though, and also holds strong Faith in the 'this too shall pass' philosophy.
Succour was also found in the connection of Friends - and the intake of Food. Oh yes, it has to be admitted that comfort eating was there. COVID-coping comes in all guises.
** Priti Patel has done nothing to further the cause of ahimsa!
See
you tomorrow for the ongoing saga. Please be aware that there is more I amAZing
over at
We are all fatigue these days even when we don't do a lot. I know I sometimes just get tired out by reading the news. I suppose it's why sleep or just resting is good for us.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely day.
Fatigue can be debilitating. And heaven knows, you had good reason for fatigue. Faith and friends (and food) are great cures for the doldrums:)
ReplyDeleteWe've never been good humans, but this past millennia has shown a little improvement.
ReplyDeleteI love this, dear YAMster! I can't hear the phrase, "s/he must be made of sterner stuff" without thinking of the Monty Python skit where they are torturing someone with "the soft cushion" and "the comfy chair" (not the comfy chair!). I also love the humanity and humor with which you speak of serious matters, putting them into perspective without trivializing them. Bless you for your loving care of your father and may ease and energy return to you. Clearly it already has, since you are managing to be tremendously prolific this month (whereas I am already falling behind and considering dropping out altogether...). Fatigue, Fretfulness, Faith (in "this too shall pass"), Friends, Food, and Freedom--keep on keepin' on in your inimitable style!
ReplyDeleteHari OM
DeleteBless you for this encouragement, Josna-ji! When writing one's own direct point of view it can feel very 'undressing' so it is good to know that folk are not to taken aback! I do hope you don't drop out - your writing has been so fun and informative. Yxx
it is the word for this year by now... but we hope it will change...
ReplyDeleteMy pandemic 'F' is definitely for Friends and Friendship. Those with whom it's only been able to communicate via technology, but in particular locally based ones - especially those with a high level of tolerance for going out in the frigid weather conditions we've been enduring in Aberdeen this winter. (More snow this morning...) One thing lacking in my life has been Family contact - it's now been well over a year since I've seen a single relative, hence those precious Friendships have been more important than ever.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Gail.
PS When you first announced this A-Z theme I admit I had my doubts. Haven't we all had too much of the pandemic, and isn't it too soon to digest it all? But I find myself looking forward to the next post in the series, and judging by the comments, I am not alone in this. Well done!
Hari OM
DeleteMy dearest of blogpals (now, I hope, 'live friend'!), thank you for that support. Your Feedback today, combined with Josna's in particular, lifted my heart somewhat. In these posts, I am definitely writing from that heart - and allowing it to be a little bit 'naked'. This, in part, is due to the need to integrate all aspects of my life again, which have become scattered these past few years. The three blogs are all expressive of this during this month and I suppose, in some ways, the 'menoculayshunal' posts have been a precursor. The journal is mine and if in it others find merit and something to take away, then the sharing has been worth my while!
The weather this side has been bright - but o.m.g. - not the temperatures! minus six last night!!!!!! This time last year it was like summer, do you recall? Sigh.... on we go. YAM xx
OH YAM!!! What wonderful post A-F and I do so look forward to each and everyone.
ReplyDeleteI truly understand your fatigue and fretting of the last year. The demands you had on your mind and body as a caregiver
were monumental and compounded by a year of isolation and pandemic. I hope that with the expectation of a Scottish spring your are able to move about more in the out of doors. I hope your temps warm up soon. Too warm for April here we've had several days in the 80's which is about a month too early
This last year was 100% enhanced and made bearable by Friends far and near..I cannot imagine how all the isolation would have been without the interwebs where our Blog friends live
Hugs Cecilia
Everything that comes to mind to write as a comment has been written already.
ReplyDeleteSo sending you a hug over ether.
You're managing this challenge beautifully and sharing love and wisdom with your readers.
Namaste.
One of my words for F today. I sure had a lot of fatigue this past year.
ReplyDeleteF is for fatigue and f is for fun and frolic....the latter reduces the former ...
ReplyDeletehttps://pagesfromjayashree.blogspot.com/2021/04/flavors-and-food-banana-leaf-meals.html
Excellent speech! i rarely watch a video that is more than 3 or 4 minutes, but this one I did, he is a great speaker and easy to understand and short and to the point. we are going through all of this now. the country is in an uproar and each incident i have different feelings.
ReplyDeleteI belive in freedom of speech and agree with what this man just said but then does that mean we should allow the President of the USA to create chaos and incite violence on FB and Twitter? Does FB ad Twitter break the laws of freedom of speech by blocking Him and others? i swing back and forth. 80 million americans feel Trump is denied freedom of speech the other 80 million of which i am one believe he was creating chaos with his words. I have no answer for all of this but am watching it every day on our TV and news progams.
About your entrapment and your fraugtness and your Food and lack of Freedom. I have been there in like circumstances and fully understand, torn betwenn what we know is our duty and our lives turned upside down.. I am glad you shared this with us
F was raised in the understanding that every RIGHT has a matching OBLIGATION. You are only entitled to claim the right if your are prepared to respect the attached obligation.
DeleteI am still dragging my ass from my year of care giving. And the care giving ended a year ago! Then there was the removal of all the debris left behind. My husband was a hoarder and in the 5 years I was working in Vancouver, the accumulation was unchecked. THAT removal will take through the end of this summer. Today I am fatigued from having driven hither and yon yesterday for 11 hours resulting in a new (to me) car in the drive. and then attending a meeting until 10 pm last night. Today I will vegetate on the sofa and exercise my brain as I complete all the paperwork from my accident with deer and hopefully the money I spent yesterday to buy the new vehicle will return before the end of the month. Perhaps, when this is over, you and I should meet some where warm and giggle like school girls while drinking tea.
ReplyDeleteFatigue is a good word to sum up where we all are now. I'm hoping spring will revive me a bit!
ReplyDeleteFatigue also encompasses my world lately...fatigue of the pandemic, from the political madness, and from lack of "normalcy"
ReplyDeleteAgain, really enjoying this A to Z series!!!
I applaud your attitude during these difficult times offering care to your father and working past the dark thoughts. Even during the best of times, caregiving is a monumental task. May your health improve drastically and your future be bright.
ReplyDeletehttps://gail-baugniet.blogspot.com/
F is for Fractured Fairy Tales
We picked up on the Freedom - and record here how appalled we are at the insidious moves by governments the world over to take this opportunity to illegally curb freedoms. Even the poster girl Jacinda Ahearn (NZ) had no legal authority to order her country into lockdown when she did. She was lucky they were either scared enough, or sensible enough (I suspect the former) to demure and prevent the plague taking hold. However she had acted illegally and it was challenged in court and the government did have to create powers for itself to make such orders - after the fact. We wonder whether, after the fact, the powers will be rescinded when no longer required to control plague...... xxx Mr T and F
ReplyDeleteFriends and Family are my F's. Unlike you, I do not have to care for either of my parents (long may it last), but I still felt trapped at times as there is nowhere to go right now. Perhaps that's why I have taken up walking. To just get away from it all and get some excersice at the same time.
ReplyDeleteKlem
Fatigue is a natural fallout, when we are working! :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's been a ver tiring year and I don't think we're out of it yet, not even with vaccins. I wonder when it will be that our lives will find its new normality. I don't expect it will be very soon.
ReplyDelete@JazzFeathers
The Old Shelter - The Great War
Faithful friends, family mixed in with some fun and maybe a frog or two to add some humor. Your recounting of the year with your father is heartrending. Final days are fraught with sadness and conflicted feelings of relief. Relief for the loved one to no longer be suffering. namaste, janice xx
ReplyDelete