Menoculayshunal; Towards The End

Folks, did you think you might have escaped my reminiscence of Sandeepany? That I had myself forgotten the tale was not complete? Sorry to disappoint! You may, of course, skip by, but I must round off this particular memoir as it still has a significant bearing on who I am and how I choose to live. For those final few months in Mumbai, it would be fair to say that I  was constantly praying for insight and guidance. I needed a spiritual ambulance...

If you are new here - or simply need to recap - then use the relative label at the end of the post. We had reached about March 2013, when we had all returned from Chinmaya Vibhooti and were plummeting through April and May in a flurry of words and administrative training. There was also - for me at least - the impending political challenge. The course had initially been slated to be complete by end-July, but we were given a slight reprieve, and it was extended to the end of September. This was mainly to permit stragglers in the thesis submissions and all the young folk to contact their parents and gain full permission to take the robes. The majority wished to do so, but there were a few whose families refused them and they had to leave and face marriages and other studies 'of more use in the world'... there is much about India that is incredibly modern, but there is still so much that, to western sensibilities, appears outdated.

The main thing is that CM, and our acharya, in particular, did not put pressure on anyone to take diksha if they were at all in doubt. As I have mentioned in other posts, the decision for me was ... heart-wrenching. I gave a little insight as to the things which brought my original conviction that I would take the robes into question. It was nothing to do with Advaita itself, but - sadly - external matters arising and which have proven to have become worse.

Over a period of two months, we had interviews with Acharya-ji. In my case, on the first occasion, there was simply a general discussion about how things had gone, and acceptance of the concerns I voiced and the advice to return in a month having researched what I might do when leaving India, if not in yellow. The only direct guidance from the first meeting was to consider more about my writing.

Within a matter of days after that interview, the news came from Scotland that father had finally had a diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease and a low-level form of Leukemia. This in itself would not have had an enormous impact on my decision-making, but I had also decided to check the property market back in Sydney (having forgotten all about such things during my time at Sandeepany). It was a bit of a shock. Things had gone mad and prices had more than doubled. I would never be able to buy into the market again in Sydney (or just about anywhere in OZ) without returning to full-time corporate employment and burdening myself with a major mortgage. That was definitely not on my script. Then, out of the blue, not having even told a single person I was looking at property, Mac1 sent me some links to property in Scotland. Now, I know that was driven by the fact she was thinking I ought to be returning to my birthland due to dad's condition, but it was also a revelation. It became clear, the more I looked around, that I could buy a place outright in the Bonny Land and still have some funds left over to tide me over until my superannuation started paying out.

I was struck by the irony that, despite all my wishes otherwise, I was being pointed towards closing a circle...