What You See Is What You Get. This is a journal blog, an explore-blog, a bit of this and that blog. Sharing where the mood takes me. Perhaps it will take you too.

Menogurgulation; A Bit Of This, A Bit Of That

Well... deep breaths... we are into Fear-buary, true and proper. As I coasted a bit through January, it crept up on me unawares. It was cushioned by the presence of Mac1. She decided to give herself a proper break and came to stay for a full week!!! Yes, this thrilled me. We filled the days very well, and you will see something of that in more posts after this. Today, though, a little sorting of thoughts as this month progresses past its first week.

In many respects, this Fear-buary ought to be okay. There will still be memories (per that linked post above), but none really give angst these days. They are merely symbols, reminders that this shortest of months can feel like the longest. I recognise and acknowledge that any worry (and let's face it, I am not of that mental tendency) is based on anticipation. 

The anticipatory prompt in this year of the Lord, twenty thousand and twenty-three, is that the YAMster is again at a point in life when she has to consider some Big Things. You see, on the last day of January, that long-run estate matter was settled. My siblings and I are now faced with being responsible for our inheritance. Although we are all relieved, there is a bit of what might be termed an 'aftershock'. True finalisation. Mac1 and I were glad of each other's company for that first week of considering safeguarding the gift and utilising it, and carrying ourselves forward as we know our parents would have wished. I reiterate an earlier statement - we are not talking megabucks here. However, without a doubt, we have been blessed. It will be interesting to hear how each of the other Macs build (and spend). For myself, there are some immediacies. Fear-buary, regular readers will recall, is the month of expenses for the Hutch. Then there is that ceiling repair, previously mentioned. Finding and engaging tradesfolk in this Bonny Land can be a major challenge - not one I look forward to, so must gird my loins! 

Vanlife beckons. It is now a matter of timing - and where. Accepting that getting repairs done will likely take some months, then getting the Hutch onto the sales market when we are hitting a recession in the housing market... well, in short, I expect to still be here this time next year. Then again, once the YAMster makes her mind up to something, experience dictates that things tend to move fast! I am considering setting up my van here, exploring the Bonny Land for a bit, and then transporting the van to OZ and pick up there. Or I could make the repatriation and set up a van once there. Or, I could set up the van here and drive all the way from here to India, then set sail... d'ya see how crazy my mind is at the moment??!!! 

I am faced with a world of possibilities again after at least four years of being fully anchored. The YAM that was the adventuress can feel the stirrings in her central being. On the other hand, the YAM facing her 64th birthday in April and has done next to nothing for two years solid recognises a wee tremor that never existed before. Lifting that anchor will require considerably more effort than at any earlier time in life, not least from the fact that physically I am much less than once I was.

Thus Fear-buary strikes again! While, on balance, things look very positive indeed, there are mental blockages to be dealt with, some basic updates and maintenance, and just overall getting my a$$ into gear.

Meanwhile, how about this?

Good, isn't it? Can't recall where I found it - very slack, YAM. I will place it on the sidebar - for myself, but as a reminder to all!

I also received the following news:

Now for some more uplifting interest... take a look at this sculpture. It is made from 'foraged' footwear. I kid you not; click the image to go to the Ocean Sole website.

Oh, yes, one last tidbit... I know a few of you heeded my callout for donations to the Ukraine Collection Pot set up by vlogpal Gadget John... He is awaiting word as to when he can go there again with all the goods that could be provided from the funds gathered... here was the closing figure. Thank you. 


  1. You have A LOT to think about, consider, mull over and get done, without knowing much of what you can/will do. Unless, of course, you have one course in mind, and aren't sharing, yet.

    1. Hari OM
      Nah, I'm not the secretive sort! I really am as muddled as this post suggests - in some respects it is finding that once again I am free to take up any option is unsettling me a tad. Too many options! And I have always been one of those who resolves her own stuff by thinking aloud. Others will have their input and it's all grist to that thinking mill... but ultimately, I set my own sail. I just need to find the wind... Yxx

  2. Best wishes to you in whatever you decide to do!

  3. I'm sure you will make the correct choices. You seem to have common sense.
    Coffee is on and stay safe

  4. We can almost ‘see’ your mind going round and round in circles- which way, whata way - this way or thata way.
    Thank you for the courage chart, it’s interesting to see the way courage can be applied to our daily lives
    And how on earth does one stretch of coastline have so much ‘junk’ arrive….or is some trucked in to help their cottage industry survive

  5. we LOVE albus!!! I've read in hunting magazine about the name february... or hornunc like they called it in the old days... and a hornunc is a bastard or someone wo came up short... like the shortest month... now I understand why this month is such an ugg-month

  6. Hello,
    I am sure you will make the right decision for you. Sometimes it seems bad to have too many options, makes it so hard to decide. I love an adventure and would like to do as many as I can before I am not able to travel. Albus is so cute and I love the elephant statue. Take care, have a great day!

  7. Lots to comment on in here so we will do the 'I wonder' one - I wonder what happens to all the pieces they cut off when they are making the flip flop art. In fact we have seen other news items about women on East Coast Africa somewhere cleaning flip flops off beaches and using them top make art and tourist souvenir items. It is amazing to think that so many flip flops wash up on beaches. xxx Mr T and F PS - we are bookmarking your thing about kinds of courage.

  8. Albus is so handsome and growing so fast. Glad to hear he is doing well, I like the elephant a lot. The month I would remove from my calendar is Sept, and if possible August, the two months that we get hurricanes here and in my city of birth and also the month that money flows out of the accounts never to return. everything is due that month from home and car insurance, now in the thousands and if anything goes wrong that is the month. like your Feb. the odd thing is, tha tis the month of my birth, whihc makes me a Virgo, type A, take charge person. The virgo in me saves every dollar I get, and hang onto as much as i can for the What Ifs I know are coming... can't help myself, and the thought of living in a van makes he shudder with fear.. it sounds like you are the opposite, and I pray you make the right decisions for you.

  9. Happy so very much that you and Mac1 had a lovely sister week together and R&R and sounds like a bit of roaming the city. Good luck with all your thoughts and actions. Albus is so handsome.
    If I were to remove month(s) from the calendar it would be July horrible 3H's
    Hugs cecilia

  10. How wonderful to be able to spend a week with Mac1. Maybe Fear-bruary can be molded into Fearless-bruary as you narrow your options for the future...I am soooooo looking forward to seeing how your Van life unfolds!

  11. What an info packed post. Oh, yes, the abilities we loose really show when packing and toting for moving. Sore and tired for sure! Great words of wisdom. namaste, janice xx

  12. I love the colourful elephant, and if handsome Albus masters the guide dog training just half as well as he has mastered the art of posing, then he will be the most wonderful assistance animal. As for all the Big Decisions, I echo Cathy's comment above - one can almost see your mind spinning round and round in this post! I join many others in looking forward to finding out how things land, and wishing you well.
    Cheers! Gail.

  13. We like the list of types of courage and think Albus is such a cutie. Our paws are crossed that you find peace with whatever decision you make about your future. We will be hanging out here and hopefully reading all about your new adventures wherever they may be.

  14. Yes, Courage. I do hope you get to do what you want to do. I LOVE the Elephant! And Albus is growing! He will be a wonder dog! Keep being awesome!

  15. Great to read your post. Greetings from India

  16. You have lots to consider and Albus is so cute!

  17. That footwear pachyderm looks gorgeous.


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