Menoperventilatin; A Little Bit of VANity 🤩

Well, van fans, the initial post featuring The Grey has arrived! 

You'll recall that I left Tigger's castle last week (what, missed that last post??? click here!), having deposited my luggage in the drawers of the spare room. It had been agreed with the dealer that I would go straight from the airport... and as I said to F, the thought of having to negotiate all the transport between the two points with more than just my backpack of essentials had me a bit cold and sweaty. Well, given summer had arrived, hot and sweaty. 

This turned out to be even more pertinent than I realised. Everything went smoothly until the 500 deposited me in Glasgow city centre where, in theory, I ought to have been able to walk straight to the 38 to get me to the Ford centre. 

However... the summer weather had sent everything into some kind of meltdown in the city. That, plus (possibly) the fact that on June 1st, the city was moving to be a ULEZ meaning all those used to driving in might have been making the most of the last two days of diesel freedom... plus endless numbers of road and pavement works... and... and... Due to a tailwind, I had actually arrived twenty minutes early, so I decided to go in search of a cold drink and some food as it might be long till I'd got more, and by the time I got back (half an hour), all the same people were still at the stop. We all still waited for another fifteen or so. Then three buses all turned up at once. 

Ultimately, I arrived at the centre at 15:45h, which was the latest I had estimated for young Matthew. I had definitely overdressed. I was glowing as hot as the sun, and if I'd had to drag luggage around as well, I'd likely have expired before it all began!

As I walked around and down into the park, The Grey was sitting patiently...

Matthew and his sales manager almost pounced on me. They were as excited to see me as I was them. We had a download convo, and then it was down to signing off the final papers and getting the quick show around the basics of operation. An hour later, I was driving away.

This, I am sure you will have twigged, was rush hour. Now, I did contemplate just finding a quiet street and waiting it out. The thing is, The Grey cajoled me to face the full force of traffic! You see, it is just so darned easy to drive. Almost too effortless. In showing me some of the techs (Matthew had joined up all the dots with my phone and suchlike), the Satnav had been set and, as I couldn't quite figure how to shut her up, it proved (at least for the initial part of the drive) to be useful as I surrendered to it and was taken around the city centre to avoid the absolute gridlock, and moved instead into the crawling gridlock. It was an average of 25mph almost all the way back to the airport. From there, I was on home territory and figured out how to deadify the talking dash tablet. Once we approached Greenock shopping park, we drove in there and took some time out. I had survived an initiation of fire; 28'C heat (though the aircon is efficient!), serious - s.e.r.i.o.i.u.s. - traffic on unfamiliar and very snakey streets, in a totally unfamiliar vehicle. (For reference, I might normally expect to drive from Glasgow to Gourock in around 40-45 minutes... the talking tablet was telling me that on that evening, the expected travel time was ONE HOUR AND FIFTY-THREE MINUTES!!!!!) And having left at 16:45h, I parked up for this refreshment break at 18:35h. The thing is, I hardly felt that nearly two hours because I was on Cloud Nine!

I dropped the windows open, switched it off, munched my date and pistachio nibbles, and read the Owner's Handbook. It could have been more helpful as it is a one-size-fits-all, and the E-Transit still needs to get its specialised version. It is a real shame because a lot about it is quite different. Working on the basis that if you can operate an Oktokan or Voovoo or Gopika, you oughtta be able to operate a Grey is a bit presumptuous. I mean. Lives aren't threatened by errors on keyboards. (Not in the potential crushing of flesh and blood sense, at least.) I couldn't find instructions on working the wing mirrors, so I kept playing with switches until I had it sorted. I'd been able to see, don't fret, but not without having to arch my back a bit at times. The minor adjustments made for much easier viewing. I inadvertently hit a button that somehow dialled Mac1's phone and frighted the jiggers out of me. I must accept that these things are entering my life now, though I resisted for so long. I am totally integrated into Ford's framework for diagnostics and such. Ford Pro means I have full roadside assistance, Blue Oval charging network access, and some clever remote operations stuff from my in-phone app... truly, I have a vast amount to learn that I can do with what amounts to being a mobile computer!!!

I've signed up for Chargeplace Scotland, too, as that is not covered by Blue Oval, and the majority of chargers in these less populated parts of the Bonny Land are these government-managed units (some of which are still free to use!).

Anyway, at 7pm, I thought I better get going again. There was still a goodly amount of traffic clearly headed for the ferry; it was chock full even at that hour midweek. I also had to bite down on the cost of a large panel van without having yet bought my resident's discounted options. Yeeccch. I may opt to take the longer land route out of town a bit more often! It was approaching 20:00h as I drove along, noting that all the usually plentiful parking places were totally filled. The car parks were filled. I really was not holding out much hope of getting parked up within cooee of the Hutch. Prayers were being offered up. 

Blow me over with a wet feather...

I kid you not! What is more, The Grey was able to tell me that there was sufficient space for reverse parking (there were two vehicles at either end the evening before this was taken), and selecting the big R on the dial brought up 360' surround overhead view in addition to guidelines and I got it in there first time of asking! I was always pretty good at this task, but oh my word, that was a doddle.

I spent Wednesday to Friday ordering stuff to start the conversion and adding to the shopping list for items later, plus watching a few videos and reading the website about the LumaFusion video editing app I now have on Octokan. Another big learning curve there. I need to get at least as proficient as I was on the Windows Moviemaker so that I can start putting up a few, albeit short, clips on the tubular.

Speaking of which, if you have not yet, you may like to subscribe to my channel here; or you can search it with @yaminthegrey on the web browser. I will be posting occasionally some written entries on the community page, and I hope to have an intro vid up there by no later than this Friday. 

And so, it begins...