Menoculayshunal; Vocational Imperative

As life (and blogging) settle back into a familiar routine, there is just this one remaining task... to reflect upon the AZing experience. Why put it under the label of 'menoculaysunal', which till now has been reserved for the narration of my Sandeepany experience? Quite simply, as much as the spiritual drive gives me reason to live, the outlet of writing is as much an expression - an imperative need - tied to that. 

This year, on the Wild YAM bloggy, I made myself a little more 'naked' than usual, looking back over a personally very challenging year that got all wrinkled up with the COVID crisis... and how much of that craziness came through in the political scene. Those posts served as a catharsis and demanded a certain consistency of purpose, style, and creativity. It's all very well having a spiritual approach to life, but if it does not allow pragmatism and process to assist the management of that life, it serves little more than intellectual hubris. 

In the same vein of being less guarded on the personal level, I undertook a series based on my life in Australia over at My Take photoblog. Far from complete, but glimpses of my beloved other country. Still on the photo theme, I undertook the AZing on Instagram. Whilst not, strictly speaking, a blog, I felt it valid in that I could express the letters creatively and still wrote something about them. That was, arguably, the most fun part of the four places... Four?!

Yes, this glutton for punishment took this opportunity to relaunch the Aatmaavrajanam bloggy. It turned out that I had to truly relaunch with a new URL and setup. The previous one had got locked in some way (can that happen in the ether, rust from disuse?!!!) that I could make no changes to it that I wanted and, more cripplingly, the comments box refused to play. It, naturally, had significantly fewer readers. Still, those who did visit left strong and engaged comments, and in spiritual philosophy, if the difference is made to only one life, it has been worth the effort and presence.

This brings me more directly to the challenge itself. Initiated quite some years ago as a booster to encourage regular blogging and meaningful exchange, I found myself being quite reserved about the blogs I selected to visit. Something I had picked up on in my first attempt three years back was definitely present this year - a certain expectation of doing things a certain way. I get some of it - having the 'badge' present for the duration with the link back to the originating blog is fair enough. But this is little more than a glorified bloghop, and I really don't want to be dictated to how many blogs I should be visiting and that I am obligated to comment in reading an article. I do not expect all my readers to comment and do not feel the need to do so in my turn. I have 80 blogs on my reader; I also have a life outside the ethernet. That said, one of the joys of connecting through blogging is the sharing of views and leaving of meaningful, pertinent comments that demonstrated one has actually read the content, comprehended it, and have something to offer in return. I engage in this activity not for quantity but quality. I select blogs with a view that I will comment on a regular (not necessarily daily) basis. The majority of those bloggers return that compliment. There were a handful of one-off 'fly-bys' dropping a 'nice post' and then links to their own blogs, but mostly the readers who joined my regular buddies have added colour and texture to my comments boxes, and I am so glad to have made their acquaintance. In turn, all who receive a comment from the YAMster will have found out that I like to fully engage - and honour all who read those comments with the wits to follow my profile to reach my blogs without my having to hyperlink here, there and everywhere. (I do link from time to time - but only where it has some bearing to the comment/subject overall.)

I made it clear from the outset that I had selected a dozen blogs from the initial 'announcement' list, knowing what I would be able to manage. (Ended up with sixteen on the list.) I wished to locate bloggers who might have something to add to my already, for me, well-curated range of blogs for daily/weekly perusal. I deliberately look for at least half of that number to be outside my usual area of interest or comfort zone, as I like to think of being online in the same manner as mingling at a large party where one may know one or two, but most are strangers. It's fun to get to know and hear different views and life experiences. It may be only for the duration of the party... but if one is lucky, there may be something more lasting to come of it. I still have four bloggers with whom I exchange readings from my 2018 sojourn in the AtoZ.  I admit there was some anticipation of equalling that. There was a good mix of bloggers from both the popular platforms; I am happy to visit both versions, but I suspect that some on the blue side just will not cross over to the orange...

Of the sixteen I nutted out of the list, three ended up not blogging at all. After a fortnight of consistent commenting from me, two other blogs I dropped as there was no reciprocation at all. That's their prerogative, but I have no compunction about moving on. Of the remaining eleven, three were pals from 2018 AtoZ. They remain valuable and worthwhile places to visit. 

• Pradeep at Time and Tide used this year to tell us about his city of residence, Bengaluru.
• Arti at My Ordinary Moments shared insights into the concepts of Ichigo Ichie.
• Deborah at Temenos delighted us yet again with her amAZing knowledge of obsolete words.

The balance of the blogs being newly explored by me, I shall be continuing to follow (and hopefully build a further connection with) are;

• Anne Higa - whose imagination is second to none! Her short fiction pieces kept one thinking.
• Iain Kelley - a fellow Scot who has a trilogy out (they're in my Kindle awaiting my attention! He's also a fine flash-fiction writer.
• Martha Reynolds Writes - showed us around her residential patch on Rhode Island - a great way to travel!
• Tea, Sigh, Create - Steph kept us on tenterhooks with the story of Holly, the herbalist on a generational ship... Loved this, look forward to more.
• The Old Shelter - Sara (Jazzy Feathers) told us about WW1 and its social ramifications. This was a well-researched and excellently written series. 
• Whatever I Think Of - Jamie's reflections on the last year echoed my own in many ways but were presented in her own personable style.

That leaves two... one is a long-term blogpal, and I loved that Beth decided to take on the challenge for her photoblog - well done, my friend!!! The second is Lissa, The Memory Tourist. I did enjoy the inventiveness and spontaneity of her offerings, but hers is not a blog that I feel the need to maintain on my list. Do visit it, though - it might suit you - and her artwork is delightful.

I particularly wish to thank Anne, Pradeep, Steph and Arti (plus one or two stray ins) for commenting over at Aatmaavrajanam - I am delighted that you all found the posts worth your while. That blog is pertinent to my 'menoculayshunal' journey, so those comments are gold!

Blogging by the alphabet is a great discipline and I thank the originators for getting it going. Will I engage in the full sign-up and kerfuffle of 'the official' again? I might - but as usual, I'll adapt it. It must never become a chore or competition or a numbers game. 

Okay. As you were...

MenoAZinkulling: Z

...and so we arrive at the conclusion of a month and an alphabet - and it is also the day I usually designate as "Final Friday Fiction"... a lot of what happened during this past 14 months could have read as some sort of dystopian fiction. Instead, we lived the apocryphal Chinese Curse of living in interesting times! So here today, I summarise the posts and present my story about the letter zee/zed as depicted in the image to the right... Thanks all for joining in - there will be a 'review of April' coming up on Monday.

☀♉☀

zeitgeist

/ˈzʌɪtɡʌɪst/

noun

     the defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history

 

The ideal word to end this A-Z here at Wild YAM, as you have been reminded of the story of –

 

Agitation and occasional Anger that the year has brought forward, which would result in me

Bawling just to let off steam.

COVIDitionitis revealed itself to me by making me feel

Dumb and Dowdy.

“Eventful” took on a different meaning, whilst Energy was lacking. People became

Fatigued and Fretful.

Gratitude for small things, simple things, burgeoned.

Health was at the forefront.

Isolation grew to be a buzzword, and governments everywhere had to give

Justification for their decisions in sometimes unJust times.

Kindness grew among strangers – though it too was counterpointed

Language adapted to the crisis and many folk experienced Long Covid

Masks became fashion items as we continued to adapt, and we treasured interaction with

Nature, which seemed to know it could have its way with us. We moved almost entirely

Online, the Outlook became ever more elusive and the

Pandemic proliferated, and PPE became a battleground and

Questions abounded… yet we were still able to slip into our Quiet spaces and

Renew some skills and hobbies, Refresh ourselves and our homes,

Searching became an activity – searching for entertainment, searching for answers…searching for loopholes…Scotland’s identity became Stronger

Tears Tumbled, Tyranny Threatened as the behaviour of those in power became

Uliginous and Underhand. Also, there was more than a coronavirus that went

Viral. HAH! Videos of all sorts cluttered the ether waves. Volunteers, vaccination…

Work – and worry – sometimes a bit

eXtreme. Then again, the whole situation was eXtreme, not to mention eXhausting. Our

Young people will have long memories of interrupted schooling… and the YAMster has spent this month moaning on your screens about her version of

Zeitgeist – which is, I remind you, COVIDitionitis!!!

 

(note the links to each post on the first letter of the relevant line - except this one, of course!)

Roll on, May Day - and tomorrow normal programming returns!

MenoAZinkulling: Y

This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

☀♉☀

YES - it has been a marathon of a crisis

YES - it has tried and tested our mettle

YES - it brought tears and tribulation, but also

YES - it did, it brought creativity and fun

YES - there was a lot that was mishandled

YES - there was a deal of misinformation

YES - the statistics make dour reading - but so

YES - do the other statistics and the damn lies

YES - it has been a year that meant sacrifice

YES - and year of forced introspection

YES - it has been a year of baking and basting and

YES - men discovered sewing and knitting and crochet

YES - more women found their inner plumber

YES - even languages were learned and art and maybe even carpet-laying

YES - such is the power of the internet

YES - we now are clear about hands, face, space but

YES - many just can't be bothered paying attention

YES - our Youth has had to deal with remote learning and missed exams

YES - there will be consequences. Many, many consequences still to be revealed

YES - there will be a long run out of this - it's not over Yet.

YES - the YAMster has just spent a month Yelling at You about her own difficult time and how she sees the state of play.

YES - she is grateful to all those who stuck with her through the tirade.

YES - it's true, she may have shown her colours, shown her cards, bared her political heart

YES - she's made up her mind, become convinced, next Thursday, there is but one way to go...

There it is, my dears - apart from the summary post tomorrow, that's your lot for AZing this year. There will be a roundup and review post coming up on Monday, where I will share links to a few other blogs newly discovered from this challenge. Meanwhile, I need me cuppa tea and a darkened room...

MenoAZinkulling: X

This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

☀♉☀

Here it is, the X-factor of the alphabet. What to play with here?

Do I tell you about the Xerosis (abnormal skin dryness) Xeropthalmia (dry eye condition) I have noticed since the menopolyxinaemia started tapering off? I had been blessed all my years till then to not require any such thing as a moisturiser. Now I can't get enough of the stuff. Those of you who are Xennials (hitting your 40's), be warned! At least I don't have any Xanthomas. Yet. TMI?

Perhaps that was a bit eXtreme. Then again, is that not a symptom of the times? Everything about the past year, in these times of Coviditionitis, has been beyond anything anyone could have eXpected.

Further, eXtreme kind of describes much of the twenty-first century thus far...

MenoAZinkulling: W

This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

☀♉☀

Is there any among us who did not express concern about the state of affairs this past year? I am, of course, talking about Worry. It would be fair to say that worry continues.

It would also be correct to state that we are in a protracted period of time where Worry dominates daily life, even if not necessarily manifesting as full-blown anxiety. There are a disturbing number of folk who protest the wearing of masks and lockdown, causing the rest of us quite some worry - but let us also acknowledge that they, in their turn, are worried. Worried about their 'right to mingle' regardless of the community's wider concerns. This is the conundrum of democracy. Let them protest. Just let none of them come anywhere near anyone who doesn't.

In the disUK, at the moment, we are going through an opening up, a release of lockdown. This is the point we were at last June, which only ended up with another surge of the lurgy. There are many, including myself, who will be taking things very cautiously. What is a bit bothersome about it this time around is that there is a sense of safety created by the presence of vaccines. It is concerning because it may be a false barrier. No doubt deaths will be reduced, and hospitalizations lessened... but we only have to look east to see that things are far from under control. India was released from its lockdown far too soon and too quickly, and the price is being paid. The western countries who are faring better are at risk as long as the global view is not taken and assistance to all of earth's residents provided. Of necessity, COVID induced a localised concentration. Now we need to understand that local means global. 

Work; well, that became a worry, didn't it? For those still in employment anyway. For many, work will not be as it was before, even when things start to settle down properly.

No, I can't get away from the Worry Word. Just about everything one reads has an element of worry connected to it. Not least when it is about the governpeeps of the disUK. Really, that Wascally Wabbit, aka Aeh Bee duh Pee Jokes-on, is surely heading for a comedown. One hopes. He's a walking cartoon character who somehow, like the roadrunner, always floats through the worst of disasters. Surely there are only so many lives available??? It's all starting to Wear me out.

Back tomorrow with more Whisperings from the alphabet - nearly finished, though, folks!!!

MenoAZinkulling: V

This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

☀♉☀

I would like you all to get your cuppa and sandwich or cake and settle down. This one is a beast... or not if you care to ignore all the links and cancel your curiosity. I swithered over this post (unlike most others, which were pretty much completed by mid-April). It's kinda outside the comfort zone of this bloggy - but then again, so has been the whole month. Doing a series on COVID - the 'ition' and the 'itis' of it - really demands that for the letter V, this post be written. One should also remember this is about you all learning about me in more depth and hearing my full Voice.

Besides, this is what amounts to my birthday party, so I hope you will be happy to Volunteer your time to read and explore what follows.

Volunteering was a big thing last year. Well, it's a big thing at any time, but it became highly Visible during the crisis. Within the health systems, within the food distribution systems, within the social support systems... a lot of folk found their inner hero, and that is a wonderful thing indeed.

From the personal coping point of view, it was hard to avoid watching an endless amount of Video presentation via various channels. The tubular thing is absorbing enough, but I also quite like the more adventurous nature of Vimeo. It has been possible to lose whole mornings to the rabbit warrens online. I suppose they could be thought of as Virtual Vacations. What exactly have I been Viewing? See if any of these grab ya;

Nureyev ... Bajirao Mastani ... McCullin ... Coriolanus ... Particle Fever ... Still I strive ...

Many dance films - lots and lots of docos... but I also signed up to 'live performance', which required purchasing tickets and supporting the dance or theatre companies. I recommend this. Front row seats every time. Appreciating the desire of all performers to get back into a true theatrical performance, I do hope they will all continue with their video offerings. Living remotely as I do, I have not attended so many plays and ballets as I have this past year!

The aforementioned primal scream

Vandalism... what? Not me. It is just that I was struck by the amount of vandalism that took place over the past while. I totally understand the purpose and need for the BLM movement... I do question, however, the Violence and Vehemence and downright Vitriol that has arisen around it. Though it is acknowledged that most of the big changes in society only ever really came around due to a revolution in one form or another, toppling of statues, I cannot help but feel, ought to come as a result of success in such revolution, not as the revolution itself. That is what then looks like wilful damage to property = vandalism: horse and cart and all that. I am also, to some degree, concerned at the signs of 'over correction' that is starting to show up. But that is inevitable tipping of the scales as things try to balance, I suppose.

Veracity. Clear and sustainable truth can be a little difficult to locate in this information-overload era. This is particularly important when it comes to science. We all love to think of ourselves as being good self-educators. However, unless we have a genuine background in research (... and even then, take it from me!), it is far too easy to be taken in by cleverly placed pseudo-intellectual arguments. Then there is the blatant bias that can be found. This Very thing is the topic of a recently published book, Science Fictions, for which the blurb reads:

While the scientific method will always be our best and only way of knowing about the world, in reality the current system of funding and publishing science not only fails to safeguard against scientists' inescapable biases and foibles, it actively encourages them. Many widely accepted and highly influential theories and claims - about 'priming' and 'growth mindset', sleep and nutrition, genes and the microbiome, as well as a host of drugs, allergies and therapies - turn out to be based on unreliable, exaggerated and even fraudulent papers. We can trace their influence in everything from austerity economics to the anti-vaccination movement, and occasionally count the cost of them in human lives.

You may be interested in this half-hour podcast with the author, Stuart Ritchie, where he talks a little more about that, but also about the Virtues of the famous Scottish drink, Irn-Bru...

Anyway, this seemed all very pertinent given how much we have to rely upon 'scientific evidence' in our current world health state. We all know that there has been a great deal of nonsense spouted about C-19... but even from the sources that can be trusted, the science at the moment is such shifting sand, it is just as likely to be adjusted and updated by next week. During the height of the unknown quantity that is novel SARS-cov-2, data was changing hourly. It will be quite some time before we have the fullest and clearest picture of it. Anything we do read may be the truth of the moment but may be disproven the next. Never mind all the stuff that has no basis of truth or is so skewed to favour one thing or another as to make the picture almost unviewable.

One of the big bugbears at the moment is being clear about the pros and cons of ....wait for it..... Vaccination. Yes, you knew that was coming, didn't you?! Ready for a video clip? It's fun, I promise... but it does require you to pay attention.

Now, armed with that knowledge...  What is very clear is that vaccines alone will not bring us out of the mess. (Very clever graphic there, do check it out.) We all must continue to follow the "Hands, Face, Space" ruling to minimise risks - even if we have been fully jabbed. It is still somewhat unclear what risk of carrying the virus is present after vacc and, with the best will in the world, there will be folk like myself who cannot (not will not - cannot) take the vaccines. Immunity levels are also still very unclear - that study linked will tell us as things are and have been - but the thing about viruses is that they mutate. That's their sole purpose in their lives. "That host not suitable, okay, let's try this..." If we are determined (and it seems we are) to keep up the human intervention in health management, there will now be an endless roundabout of re-vacc. (Since that article was written, just two weeks back, the Health Minister of the disUK announced this is definitely happening..."once everyone has received their 'first round' dose".)

The vaccines can only be of ultimate benefit when all people in the world can be jabbed. It has become abundantly clear (check that graphic) that there is an imbalance, and even in places with pretty decent vacc systems, the delivery has still been low, and they are now suffering as if it was all back at the beginning again. They relaxed very quickly back into mix and mingle once the vacc program was underway. We should be paying attention to that... 

Also, remember the post on efficacy. Other links of interest on this matter include the Global Vaccine Safety Summit presentation, held even as COVID was breaking, and this paper on natural versus vacc immunities. Overall, natural immunity is always to be encouraged. Still, where we have a crisis such as this, vaccinated immunity is necessary to reach that magic threshold where transmission of the disease is reduced to almost zero. (Almost, note.) This is the 'herd immunity that is so often touted. It does not require that every person on earth be jabbed... but the number at which it becomes notable - though still to be fully determined - is likely to be between 70 and 80 per cent of the population. We are a long way from that yet. (That's another neat daily update graphic.) There is no room at all for complacency and feeling smug at getting jabbed. We all must still keep our distance, cleanse hands and surfaces and wear masks when in company. The reality is that even if - when - COVID is controlled, it will linger long. Some natural immunity is likely to develop, as it did for influenza - but variants will continue to rise. (Do you want a 'dummies' version of all that? - here it is.)

On veracity - let me offer another word... agnotology. Oh yes, it's a beaut. 

AGNOTOLOGY; 

is the study of wilful acts to spread confusion and deceit, usually to sell a product or win favour. It comes from agnosis, the neoclassical Greek word for ignorance or 'not knowing', and ontology, the branch of metaphysics which deals with the nature of being.

Do you love that word? Here in the disUK, the political landscape is crowded with agnotologists. One, in particular, is starting to be ratted out by some of his cronies. I mentioned the diarist before; since then, another has left 'the ship', declaring "no one tells the truth round here!" and that bloke Cummingandgoing has turned worm ("et tu Brutus?") on his former mate.  He of the old boy's club, the cronyist - leader of the 'chumocracy'. Alekceaser Buttris d'Puffer Jingostar.

Vanaprastha. (वानप्रस्थ) is a composite word with the roots vana (वन) meaning "forest, distant land", and prastha (प्रस्थ) meaning "going to, abiding in, journey to". The composite word literally means "retiring to the forest". This is the ashrama (period of life) into which I entered two years back. The four ashramas are Brahmacharya (student, birth to 21), Grihastha (householder, 21 to 59), Vanaprastha (retired, 60 - 75) and Sannyasa (renunciate, 75 - death).

Thank you for reading this far - and, perhaps, enjoying a few click-throughs.  See you tomorrow for more. Don't forget (if you can't get enough of my alphabetting) to check out the posts at My Take, Aatmaavrajanam and Instagram - use the LinkTree on the sidebar. I'm off to blow a few candles. 

Hb Birthday Cake GIF from Hb GIFs

MenoAZinkulling: U

This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

☀♉☀

How to be Uberous in relation to this letter? 

I am Undecided.

Let it all hang out, just Unroll from the fingers.

Yet to keep the Universality of these posts

Relating to Coviditionitis... Ugh...

The whole debacle has been Ulcerous to society.

Politics has been Uliginous, with Ulterior motives appearing in the mire. There's a rise in the Ultrapatriotic, marked by the Unfurling of flags.

On a personal note, things have been somewhat Unkempt, but certainly not Unclean. Indeed, one has been Ultrafastidious in that department... but the dressing up and applying adornments has dropped away - Unlamented. 

For all the Unity this lurgy has brought forth, there has at times been a lot of Unnecessary Unmannerliness. 

Underneath the surface waters of the ocean of COVID, the disUK governpeeps have shown their Unilateral tendencies. They still seem to think they rule a majority of Uneducated serfs. He of the Unruly hair is Unbashful in the most Ultimate fashion. Undaunted by the litany of errors, no-shows, U-turns in his past, he ploughs on no matter how Unwanted things are...  Brexit, Borders, Bombs... as for the dressing as many things as he can in the flag of Union...

Patriotism is the Last Refuge of a Scoundrel

...said Johnson. Not that one - an earlier one. 

It's all beginning to feel a little bit like it did in the 1980s. This Johnson, the current one, appears to consider himself the Ubermensch of our times...Thatcher on steroids... which brought to mind 'O Superman':

And the voice said: Neither snow nor rain nor gloom
Of night shall stay these couriers from the swift
Completion of their appointed rounds.

'Cause when love is gone
There's always justice
And when justice is gone
There's always force

See you Monday for the final week. Please be aware that there is more I amAZing over at 

My Take, Aatmaavrajanam and Instagram.

MenoAZinkulling: T

This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

☀♉☀

This is another letter for which words Tumbled forth. Where to begin? 

Training. No, not that sort. The riding in a carriage behind an engine sort. Transport in general. Which, of course, leads to Travel and Thoughts Thereof...

I occasionally used the trains between the Hutch and #15 (it could take about three hours door to door). More often, however, after selling the car, I opted for the buses. Here in the Bonny Land, once we turn 60, we get bus passes for free travel throughout this braw place. I had mine for nearly a year before we couldn't go out and about anymore. (Well, we could... but... y'know...) In that year, I not only made monthly to-fros from west to east but got in a trip to Inverness, then from Aberdeen to Edinburgh. Locally, I travelled over the Cowal peninsula onto the Isle of Bute and back. I went all over the place within Edinburgh because there is hardly a street that doesn't have a bus route running through or close by. Our public transport is second to none. 

I miss tootling aboot on oor transport... and although we can do so freely again (at time of writing), I shall not be rushing in. There is still too much that is variable and uncertain about our situation. 

Thankfulness. Oh, you think mentioning gratitude in gee was enough? Well, gratitude is the attitude - thankfulness is the expression. The saying it out loud. In my case (and my siblings'), there was immense thankfulness expressed to the doctors and nurses of the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, first in A&E and then the neuro ward. Father's condition got steadily worse and at quite a pace from August onwards, and Mac1 and I were a bit Torn in attempting to get dad to cooperate in his own health management. Stoic Highlander of the war generation. Internalising it all and driving us spare with concern. We finally got five weeks of external care assistance for overnights - though that did not actually prove to be as successful as hoped. The girls were lovely, but - well - he just needed to be in proper facilities. Nature took its course, and I had to call the ambulance... 

Three weeks. For three weeks, Mac1 and I took it in turns to visit morning and evening - I used the bus then. One almost outside the main door goes directly to the door of the hospital. Thank you, Lord. I risked that travel knowing I probably had antibodies and anyway took all precautions ... and, anyway, by the end of the first week, we knew This was iT. On November Thirty, it was.

Tears. I remember back to the Tantrums. Part of the Parkinson's picture is the change of mood and Temperament. Combine that with my own altered mood from CFS/?LC? and dad and I could sometimes find ourselves in quite volatile moments. So I tear-up but also cannot help giggling from the memory of the day he told me I was a Toe-rag and he was firing me. "Can't do that," I said calmly back, "because I quit."

Clearly, he didn't, and neither did I. He hated me in that I could see him Truly, warts and all and would call him on it. He loved me in that I turn that same lens upon myself. Transparency is one of my drivers. I detest bulls*** and deception and betrayal and secretiveness and furtiveness and ... well, you get the picture. I will always call things as I see them. Sometimes, when I am Tired or at the end of my Tether, I know that I can be a Tad Tactless in doing so. Perhaps, in the past year, things have been just a bit rough and ready... and raw. 

Yesterday, I pointed to the possible Treachery of the propaganda machine with the removal of an LSE blog post. Today it is followed up with diaries of an ex-colleague of the performer known as Assk Buteye dinny Promise Jollies. It appears I may not be alone in my estimation of his odious Toadyousness. There is growing concern regarding Westminiseries (i.e. ABdPJ et al) working up to Tyranny. .. ... ... ... ... Surely not?..

Let's lighten the mood. Theatre. Thespians everywhere are concerned - well, I ought to say performers, for there are also dance, acrobatics, music... again the utility of the internet came to the fore. The abundance of performance which has appeared online is astounding - and the standards have been high, even from amateurs. I have subscribed to the Original Theatre and watched a few plays already. I would like to share with you, in closing today, a little experimental dance piece from Bridge Street Theatre's Thang Dao Dance Company. The name, Proxemics,  gives a clue to this being the pas de deux of Coviditionitis; Together - and yet - not. I loved it. What think you?

See you tomorrow for the ongoing saga. Please be aware that there is more I amAZing over at 

My Take, Aatmaavrajanam and Instagram.

MenoAZinkulling: S

This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

☀♉☀

Golly, I found myself with quite a Significant list for the ess letter. Maybe a touch of Spring fever? Cabin fever, more likely, given that spring is Struggling to manifest hereabouts. Given that last year, spring more resembled summer - just when we were all shut indoors! Anyway, I've cut it back a bit. 

What am I Saying? Of course I haven't!!! Ess is just too Succulent a letter to let Slip away...

You may wish to get a cuppa - this one is a bit Stretched in length...

For me, the letter ess comes down to Screaming and Slippers. I have previously mentioned bawling in the bathroom... well, now it is time to confess that on occasions, it shifted into all-out primal screaming. Now I do have to mention other ess-words because the screaming was, perhaps, the result of not being able to fully embrace my regular Spiritual practices due to the family Situation. The annexe was private enough, and in '"normal" times, I certainly did attend to my Saadhana. However, never mind COVID, 2020 was not normal times, as father's needs far outweighed any of my own, and I reconciled this by making my care of him into my 'saadhana'. I would chant over the regular tasks (which would draw one of his inscrutable Stares). It was all I had because time-management throughout that whole period was impossible. He hated being left - even when 'sleeping'. When he did actually sleep (determined by the Snoring), what time might be gained had to be used for doing the housework or other personal work...

Such as the slippers. If you didn't already click through when I linked to my crochet projects, now is the time. The use of hook and yarn provided an element of Sanity for me. There were plenty of different projects, but it was the slippers that seemed to Substitute for meditation.

Meanwhile, outside the walls of #15, the differences between Westminster and the rest of the disUK were becoming clearer during the course of the year. In particular with Scotland. The problem for Westminster, it seems, is accepting that Scotland (and Wales and NI) are actual countries and not merely annexed counties of the English Empire. There are some distinct cultural Schisms that Aloofinder Borax de Prattful Jobson appears to have no consideration for or can even accept exist. Therefore, in the upcoming Scottish Parliament elections, we may see, for the first time, voting that shows Scots are not looking South. The purpose of devolved government is that we are supposed to make up our own minds about what is right for the people of this Bonny Land by electing the folk we think can provide that. As a nation, we benefit already from this. ScotGov, however, is hampered somewhat by the setup of devolution, which reserves certain things to Westminster-only governance. It is this which is primarily driving the independence cause. (It's a long and complicated subject, and I do not intend to go into it here, but the simple fact is elections hang on the balance of what is currently happening...) Despite his best efforts, the Primordial Muncher cannot make better his approval ratings against those of oor wee Nicola. 

Ms Sturgeon, despite the best efforts of her ex-boss,  Alicker Sickmon, and despite a setback in percentage from the whole debacle, still rates well and remains her ever-cool, calm, collected self. He can't accept that he is no longer the Fat Controller and will do anything to remain in the Spotlight. 

Is it worth mention here that, in the world of fish, the sturgeon is generally unbothered, but can become a predatory species that can swallow very large prey items, including whole salmon? Jus' observin'.

I was tempted, under the letter P, to mention propaganda. Westminstirring wouldn't stoop to such, surely? Think again. They do their utmost to control the narrative... and if ever there was a Suspicious, even Sinister representation of that, it was in the final week of March when an essay by two respected academics, writing in the London School of Economics blog, was 'disappeared.' The essay looked into the legal and economic case for Scottish Independence that - as stated by the authors themselves - might prove controversial. That is to say, it was contra to the disUK-gov point of view. The page where it once sat, was, two days later, replaced with an apology for withdrawal of the article. No explanation was given. However, there are ways and means... gotta love the web archive!!!

See you tomorrow for the ongoing saga. Please be aware that there is more I amAZing over at 

My Take, Aatmaavrajanam and Instagram.

MenoAZinkulling: R

This month here at the Wild YAMster's bloggy, you are going to be regaled with words related to feelings and happenings of the last twelve months. Oh yes, you know of what I talk.  This is to be the ALPHABET OF AAARRGFIZZZ... We've all had to deal with it. This will be a reflection purely from my point of view. You don't necessarily have to agree with what I say; just appreciate where it's coming from. Normal service will resume on May Day. (By which time I may be yelling that down the ether phone loud and repetitively!)

☀♉☀

` ïI ramya nm>

Jay ïI ram

Om Shree Raamayaa namaH, jaya Shree Raam!

Forgive me for that highly personal start to this post - today is the celebration of Sri Ramnavami. As this is the avatar through which I choose to meditate upon the Higher Existence (and this is my blog), space has been provided. I shall be listening to various songs of praise - particularly different Renditions of one of my favourite bhajans. ShantiH ShantiH ShantiH.

Last year, as the lockdown was already a few weeks in, I was honoured to have my father and sister, Mac1, share this festival with me. They accepted my prayers and enjoyed the Repast I had prepared. I boxed up portions for Mac1 and for Neighbour M - as we could not actually sit down together. It was particularly poignant, as dad was never one for entertaining the esoteric side of life. Though, shortly before mum died (and just prior to my departure to India), he did ask me about Reincarnation. I treasure that moment and a handful of others when he dropped his guard and allowed himself to ask the questions - and gave space for the Responses. As the year of COVID progressed, he did have a few more moments of Reflection, and there was one precious morning when I came through early to find him staring out the window (a rare occurrence!). I said nothing, but he launched into a few sentences around what might happen when he "popped his slippers" (sic). I chose to leave him with it and offered nothing of my own at that time. There was something about that little scene that seemed to hold some Reverence.

All of these moments mark little snippets of Respite, Renewal and Refreshment of being, about which I can now Reminisce.

Meanwhile, outside the walls and windows of #15, things were a bit Rampant; by June, folk were convinced that we should just be allowed to behave as we had always done. Anyone with any kind of foresight could see the inevitable Resurgence of the lurgy. It all had to with the R-number.

Then the Rambo Rapper, known as ABindaPJs, still prevaricated, cuz, well, y'know, people (business/economy) wanted (needed) Christmas...and oh heck, that wee Nicola up north is showing us up again, yeah, okay, "Retreat!" Return to full lockdown. Indeed, doon in the big house, there was a certain Ratiness growing towards the Bonny Land... and some tricky tricks have been going on to try and rein-in that Rebellious Rabble...

See you tomorrow for the ongoing saga. Please be aware that there is more I amAZing over at 

My Take, Aatmaavrajanam and Instagram.